Random thoughts: Human capital

Human capital? 

What comes to your mind? 

The amount of money your skills and network can generate, payoff? Right? In simplicity, our work. 

My work for the year 2016, is drawing to a close, as usual,I am going to review my human capital.

When I started 2016, I wrote E3. I want to do be effective, efficient and engaging in my teaching. I think I done all three. I do not want to review how effective, neither do I want to put a value to it, I know I have make a conscious effort in these areas and I made progress. Period.

That is the capital part.

Now the human part. 

That is the high point.

I never thought I would almost break into tears talking about a pupil. She did very well for my subject. In the past, she would already be a asset to my KPI, a plus, a cause for joy. But because she did badly for the rest, she couldn't get into even normal stream. Whenever I think of her, my heart aches. Human... 

I have a colleague just gotten married. We discuss work even late into the night, and it will go on to philosophical views on teaching, people and expectations etc. 

On the day after her wedding, she texted me to thank me for attending the wedding. She told me she felt like crying when she saw me. 

She said she wanted to take a picture with me, made me feel like her father. Human... She said she really appreciate the trust and confidence I have on her regarding her work.

On the last day of school day, my co-form organized a class party. My pupils ask me for ice-creams LOL.

I remembered jumping with joy when running towards them at the canteen. Human... I felt like a little kid again. My pupils start bringing food to me, some told me their mother prepare it with them, so just wanted me to taste more food. I felt like a star.

I remember telling a mother during end of year meet parent session, that her daughter is visibly unhappy from semester 2 onwards. And in term 4, even more visibly so. I was rather afraid that I might make things worse. But luckily the mum felt apologetic and when I checked with my pupil the next day, she told me her mum did sayang her and told her that she is sorry for pushing her so much. But the weirdest thing is, I felt no positive energy from her. 

I even manage to have some exchanges about work, life, philosophy about academic pursuit with a parent, something that never happened in my past decade as a teacher. She even send me videos about a wonderful teacher, how that teacher touched life. That video is how we use human capital not to prosper, but help others. 

My supervisor ask me, what is my high point. I told her help my colleague get a good appraisal grade and see her smile when I told her she finally made it... 

The dark side of human.

I lost quite a bit of self-confidence, self-doubts about my capabilities as a manager has set in. 

I remember, only ticking "communication and team building" as strength in the list of areas in my review paper. I can't honestly think of other strengths.

In fact, this post on review of human capital, I can't find anything else to write, except people. Can't write results, systems set up, culture etc. 

But it's ok. Its what that matters most to me. 

How has your work been?