Saturday, March 24, 2018

Random thoughts: Making friends in the workplace

I have my hits and misses, and had a lot of grumbles from my friends. But I thought some of the below mindsets work well for me.

1) It's ok to be taken advantage of

As long as it doesn't kill or hurt too much. Doing something to convenient others is not a sign of weakness. Also, do not expect anything in return, if favour is returned, good and it is a bonus, if not, just tell yourself u are nice or it's part of good karma LOL

2) See the goodness in people

We all like to bitch about people, it can be quite fun if not done maliciously, but once the energy gets negative, try to be mindful. Also, it is easier when we see the good side of people when we get into their wrong side from time to time. Hey, we are no saints, we are a basta... From time to time too. Live and let live.

3) when a confrontation is inevitable, never back down

If something is really wrong and crosses all your boundaries, and after applying 1 and 2 still does not work, it means u need to assert your stand clearly without any fear. Even at the stage, there is no need to be nasty, but there can be no sugar coating and A spade must be said as a spade. In the end, u might not get what u want, but it's fine, the stand must be made clear. If things go your way, be humble and grateful. If things dun go your way, be graceful but made it clear u accepted collective decision but it is not your stand.

Conclusion:

Goodwill is more important than being right. Not everything that is not right is wrong. But wrong things are wrong, we can do the wrong things because there is no choice but we can lie to ourselves and to others that is permissible and could be right.

16 comments:

  1. Few colleagues will end up as our lifelong personal friends.The truth will be revealed few years after we have left the workplace.

    ReplyDelete
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  2. Hi CW, I have a very cold reaction to this. While, I still keep in contact and is somewhat in good tea with my ex-colleagues from my previous school, I am the type of person who think when yuan fen is up, it's ok.

    Colleagues if become friends, fine, if not no problem. I choose to be in my best towards u, when we part,I dun need u to remember me

    ReplyDelete
  3. Haha uncle temp,

    Agree, if control is illusion, I assume.u refer to those beyond self, like friends, etc.

    I would think self control can be delusional too hahahaha

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hahahaha, uncle temp,

    In this area we really see eye to eye. I remmeber years ago when I am doing reservist, a good friend of mine says that he will never be unfaithful to his wife.

    I think of my friend as a good man, I think he won't too, under normal circumstances, just didn't like his sure way of saying it. So I counter, wait till a person stripped naked in front of u and your blood goes to ... Then u walk off and tell again.

    Having been through a decade later, I begin to understand it's about preventing ourselves into getting that situation of temptations and choice at the first place.

    If we want to go even further, cultivate ourselves not to even have the thoughts at the first place

    ReplyDelete
  5. I agree that friends come n go in today's society where many "so-called" friends have personal agenda or be friend with u only because they are down.

    Hence, if there is no major impact to touch the so-called friend, most likely it can be temporary.

    But whether they come n go, nvm, just rem at least they come by before, n if they do, better to leave a good impression than bad ones.

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