Random thoughts:

Had been a few hectIc weeks.

However, I still offered to help train the volleyball teams every morning. I really enjoyed the sessions. I feel that the teacher IC is helping me more than I am helping her.

Today, the senior boys team became the national champions. A proud moment for them. There will be no more morning trainings, and I think I am really going to miss them.

At age 40, the last 4 weeks is really God send.  I felt I went back to my secondary school days. My school is a notorious school, but I have very fond memories of my CCA trainings.

The jumping and spiking hurt my ankle and knee. I need those guards now. I am no longer young, and the joints hurt. But I really miss those sessions, in fact, I am feeling rather down now.

Those days. Eh... training everyday. My team mates, our friendship.

Will I choose another secondary school? No.

随心笔：无思

有时真的不知道自己在做什么。
好像就随波逐流。

也不清楚自己的努力，是不是白费的。
更不清楚自己是不是在自欺欺人。

但是天还是要亮，
路还是要走。
就一步一步走下去吧

希望是柳暗花明又一村，
而不是跌入万丈悬崖。

或许，悬崖下，是清碧潭水。

脚步停一停，听一听。

不要太在意，
周围的环境，
不要太理会，
前方的路。
认定了目标，
走了冤枉路，
绕过来就是。

随心笔：回家

回家了，终于。
不管好坏，不论结果。

家，就算什么也没有。
就算能做的事，也没差。

我还是希望，
还是开心。

那个药箱，不会再空着了。

你不一样了。
你听不太懂我的话。

你要想一想，才记得我的名。

没关系。这是你的地方。
你安心休息。

你越来越像小孩。
你其实不再是你了。

你好好休息，开心一点。
希望能带你去吃点饭。

随心笔：失去

不是离开了，才会失去。
握在手中，也不一定拥有。

不是活着，就是存在。

没有抓不抓得住，
只有做着想做的事。

失去，好好活在当下吧。

没有拥有，就不会失去是屁话。

好好拥有，活在心里。
眼前的，让他去吧

Random thoughts: Old age and money

Its less than 3 years apart since my mun passed away and there is a need of active givegiving for my dad.

I am closer to my dad. Hence, the last 3 months sometime do send my mind to a roller coaster ride.

There is a period of time, I worried for my single child. I thought of checking myself in to a community hospital or home and paying the expenses from my rental. There is no need for my son to worry about me falling, etc.

Having been to the hospital for 3 months. I know how it feels to be staying a hospital, community or otherwise. I rather die at home and is glad that my dad is finally going to be discharged. If lying on the bed 24 hours and wearing pampers is distressing enough, I would not want to stare at the fellow patients, each with different ailments.

I wonder how it would be when my tine comes.

Its a humbling experince. I think I do hope to see my son trying to make me confortable, and talk to me, when it is my turn.

Money, is really not at the back of my mind.

Anyway, talking about money. Do look around construction companies and construction supply companies. rWS and MBs spending 9 billions. Assume construction takes place over 3 years, and annual demand of construction in Singapore is in the range of |28 billion to 32 billion. Its 10 percent more, at the backdrop of continous govt spending on MRT lines.

Pan united is a big player in cement, and while MBS or RWS might use their own construction companies or overseas companies. No one is reallg going to ship cement from overseas.

Bye.