Yesterday episode of joy truck showed a single mother family whose son lacked much self-confidence even when he is out playing at RWS.
Reminded me of a colleague who lack some self-confidence since she is a divorcee.
We always say words like "it's all in the mind", "always look at the bright side". Of course I do not deny the wisdom of these words. However, I think we sometime underestimate the negative energies of external forces. Of course, there are people with huge reservoir of positive energy to counter this.
For anyone who with encountered anyone that is having lower self esteem, I bet 50 bucks that he should be facing more failures than successes than you. Of course, again, we can brush it aside that they only have themselves to blame for their failures. Not positive, not self-reflective enough etc.
Recently, work have its fair share of setbacks, today, I finally realized what is the cause of my imbalance. The clinging of a "name"/虚名。I used to think why my ex-supervisor mind criticism so much. I now totally understand. Not boasting here, but in my ex- work place, I think I shine quite brightly to the extend of shadowing my boss. I always comfort her not to take things too hard and chill. How karma goes in cycle so quickly, my weakness is recently (not very recent, think 2 months liao) exposed glaringly to 2 of my subordinates. Although they are still very respectful and friendly, it constantly haunting me subconsciously, not that is affect my work, but it affect my morale.
Erh... 虚名啊！in my previous workplace, if something similar happen, I will grumble and complain, thereafter get on with work. Now I will have questions like are they comparing me with their ex-supervisor? It's is the name of "supervisor" that is the baggage, silly isn't it?
After understanding this, I felt so relieved suddenly. I also felt relieved that I am working hard and saving hard towards my goal, it doesn't matter anymore the money saved is most probably not making a difference, at least I know I am no longer deluding but trying. I know I will still lead my life like this even if I have half a million portfolio. I will most probably leave a lot for my kid? But ... Why be unhappy over numbers. I will strive hard to save even a dollar but not feel poor.
Whatever it is, everyone will have their low point, I am lucky because I have so much more positives than negatives in my life, once in a while, external forces get stronger, I usually get back In equilibrium rather quickly. If I in the most fortunate of circumstances than 90% of the populace in the world can foolishly 庸人自扰，I surely should show my patience for those having their lows...
How about people with more negatives than positives? They might take longer, be kind and patience. There might be a time and place for tough love, but be more forgiving.
道可道，非常道。名可名，非常名。无，名天地之始。有，名万物之母。故常无，欲以观其妙。常有，欲以观其徼。
A bit more feeling reading this and it keep ringing in my head.
Cheers,
Silly investor
Good stuff. Everyone is fighting their own battle we may not have the privilege of knowing about.
ReplyDeleteIndeed,
DeleteAlso there is a risk of relative comparison versus absolute comparison.
"I have been through worse, you jelly!"
But for that Jelly, he/she is having hell of a time because he has never been through it.
A battle harden US soldier will most think soldier who complain during training as Jelly, but that comfort soldier might have never experince air without the con.
If that Jelly is trying real hard. we ought to give him some slack
We all have our own "demon" to fight... and I am sure our conscious will come out victor...at the end...
ReplyDeleteAt the end...
DeleteIt is never the end until one die, in this journey, we do right, did wrong, correct the wrong, did more rights, did more wrongs, all the rights and wrongs will only count when we see the marker
thought provoking post :)
ReplyDeletehow we see the world begins with the inner thoughts in our mind............
Be mindful of our moods each day!
This is an age where the mood decides the fortunes of people rather than the fortunes decide the mood – Sir Winston Churchill
If we wantonly allow the external forces like you say to take control of our moods, we are no difference from a machine being order around by the control device.
Advertising and all forms of communication are fighting multi-billion dollars market each day for a thin slice of our attention! Once we give in, they will not slow down but devour our mindshare aggressively.
Thus, it is extremely important to start our day right with positive moods and sense of thankfulness and employ gratitude in our course of dealing with anyone.
Cheers
Desmond
Hi Desmond,
DeleteThank you for your thoughts.
Some of us have better filters. We filter out negative energies.
We must not forget it does not matter if we are using a membrane or a sock as a filter, if we keep getting bombarded with negative energy, the membrane will get dirty.
The good thing is, most people after filters get dirty, has a upgrade, and can take more dirt after that. Until the next upgrade.
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