Random thoughts: Being thankful in a crisis

Not sure if some will find this post insensitive, but here goes.

In this crisis period, I am thankful that I am reasonably safe with my job. I might get a pay cut if this crisis drags on, but it is still less painful than what is going on with many sectors. I was taking taxis today, as my car was sent for repair. The uncles all told me earnings are halved. 

I am glad that I am not fearful of this Covid19. I am not sure how this sound to u, but I have cut off completely any entertainment or meeting of friends. I dun really eat out, except for wee hours in the morning, where I indulge in a hot bowl of noodles before I go to school. There is hardly any crowd in the morning.

I washed my hands frequently, and has a santitizer bottle with me. I avoid air-conditioned staffroom and usually mark around the study areas of the school. 

I did these to be responsible to my family and also to my kids. If despite my best intentions, I am infected by it, I leave it to fate/god to go through it to the best of my ability. 

I was rather panaroid and fearful at the beginning. I do get a bit worried once in a while, but I am rather at peace now. I know there are many around me who do might not feel the same way. Perhaps it was a defiance trait, and I think somewhere is February, I suddenly heard a loud internal voice, " F*@ it, living in fear us worse than dying", thereafter, I try to focus on my work and enjoy my work.

My work has become more enjoyable. I enjoy the company of my P6 pupils. My P5 pupils did not do well in the CA test, and some parents are losing confidence in me. I was demoralised but it is just a passing cloud that I know will not pull me down beyond one day. 

Financially, I have only about 30 percent cash left. My portfolio is 12 percent in the red. I could pump up the cash to 40 percent if necessary but I do not really wish to activate my reserves. ( Reserves are not emergency fund,these are No-No) I am thankful that as I look at my bleeding portfolio yesterday, I could think clearly and objectively which companies are my priority to buy if prices continue to head south, how much sizing is too much of a risk, which counters to use CPF to stagger the buying etc. I was not so Zen in the 2008 bear. Maybe that is because I know I have some funds to tap into if markets really continue to go south and I have already built up a reasonable emergency buffer. 

I am thankful that my family are still in good health. 

Lastly, I am not sure how true the reports are, but with the drastic reduction of human activities, it was reported that pollution has decreased and mother earth is healing itself. Protests in Hong Kong has died down. I am under no illusions that the problem will resurfaced after the virus, but I think this cooling off period might actually increase the number of people willing to take the middle ground, and reduce plain exploitation of certain interest groups that are too radical.

Covid 19 is a mirror. I saw the ugly side of me. Its fine, I can live with being ugly. 

I am thankful, I am not blind