Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Random thoughts: Time with parents...

I remembered always wanted to have a place of my own, wanting to move out when I am a teenager.

I seldom stay at home when I was a student. I spent long hours at school due to CCA, when I reached home, I go to the hawker stall to help out. House, is a place to sleep.

I hate my parents' quarreling, when I studied, it will be at a void deck since I do not even have space for a study table. 

Since my parents' poor health, I think I spend more time at home than my entire life. 

I understand them better now, seeing their strengths more than their weaknesses. It also had quite an impact on me.

1) Live life
My parents are in discomfort constantly. My mum keep coughing and my dad hand is constantly numb or in pain. There are "pain lessening" sessions like acupuncture or medicine. But I see it very clearly, and is more irritated than grateful when people ask me how are the sessions, are they getting better?

Nonetheless, they carry on with their daily activities. I never heard them grumble about pain. My mum can't cook again, but she still prepare the ingredients. My dad, still go to godness of mercy temple and pray for hongbao despite the crowd. I wondered if I will be like them, "stubborn"as the healthy youngsters like to label or will I whim and whin about how unfair life is, when it is my turn. 

Life is living. Sickness or old age. Till death provide the mercy. 

2) Suffering is inevitable physically
I always wondered how my last few years will be?

My GP told me since both my parents are diabetic, I will surely get it, it is just a matter of when and how serious. 

The TCM Doctor told me to watch my Heath as both my parents have "problems"

I always quipped in my mind how will I die? Should I live as sterile life to prevent and lessen the inevitable or live and enjoy as it is, such that when my time come, I can say "hey, I had my fun" 

I always wonder why people fear death? Isn't the pre-death more scary? Which organ to fail first? Which strength to slips and which daily activity is a luxury? 

When will I start to worry about falling and never able to get up. This time not mentally but physically.

3) Frugality 
When is someone frugal? My parents are always frugal. 

I had dinner with my dad. A long time I had dinner alone with him out. I knew he liked fish, but he keep shaking his head when I offer to buy fish. He said at least $5. I said "Siao ah, dun worry la, go sit down first"

The meal cost $16. $8 a meal. Macdonald set is $7. A luxury by my dad standard. I told him it is a coffee shop, chill. 

When I bring him see TCM at a charity clinic, he always offer to return the donation (it is free). I said I am able, cannot take advantage of the clinic, it is dirt cheap with my token donation, my turn will come when I need to rely on charity. He smiled. 

4) What is the big deal?
I find it very amusing now when people gossip or quarrel over the smallest things. Someone could be dying? What is the big deal? 


  1. Hi mike
    Yes.most of the time, we forgot how fortunate we are.

    In my these few days admission. I saw 3 auntie in my same ward passed away.

    One young lady same illness as me. But paralyzed. Can't work. Very sad. Old mum age 64 have to stay in hospital take care of her.

    Well. What is money now? Useless.

    1. Indeed, Yeh,

      The awakening of money "enough" and too little and too much is a pain...

      Health is not just physical but also mental. I think mental health is more important, quality of life depend more on mental health than physical health

    2. Btw I see clear the picture.
      The fish is quite big portion. If only cost sgd8
      I think worth the money.

  2. Hello SI and yeh,
    These are really sobering thoughts. Sometimes we don't treasure what we have until we lose something.
    I am reading this book called "A Guide to the good life" that talks about Stoicism. Part of this philosophy is to treasure what we have. I find it very relevant to life. But following it is not easy of course, same as it is not easy to follow Buddhism.

    1. Hi Goh,
      Stoicism, is the theory on the 3 levels of soul?
      Anyway, we keep reading and we will be able to "follow" and apply soon ebough

    2. Still reading and havent got to that part yet.
      What I gather so far is, treasure what you have, but dont get too attract to anything, because nothing is permanent. Live in the present and dont waste life by sleep ealking through it.

  3. There comes a point, when health concerns start to outweigh wealth. What is wealth, without health? Mortality. I guess it starts to hit as the 40 starts to pass by. And it just gets worse with time.

    1. Lizardo,

      I am just years away from 40s

      Even in my 30s I can feel the difference between 30s and 20s of course, a lot is due to or decayed lifestyle lol

      But hey, health is a gift. It is both lifestyle and given at birth. My friend smoke,drink and womanized, but had less health problems lol

      Just be happy, that's the only gift within our control

  4. Hi SI

    out topic for awhile, is your father a lefty ?

    No worries, lefties are a strong bunch :)

    1. STI,

      My dad is a right hander, but he is still a hardy bunch.

  5. Sillyinvestor,

    I like your GP. No sugar coating one hor?

    No, I'm not going to offer you advice or nag at you :)

    You're an adult. You know what to do. It's your life after all.

    I'm a bad influence. I'm more the "today got wine; today drunk" kind of guy.

    Your childhood got fight with Rolf's.

    Having dinner with dad and bring him to clinic is being in the present.

    No need to wait till we have X amount in Y year's time.

    No need to bring them on overseas vacation to experience together.

    1. SMOL,

      Indeed, now. Is the key word. Ya... I am a big boy now. Still young and "say"

      I a bit drama la, my childhood is cool, that's about all that is bad about it Liao lol

  6. Hi SI,

    Since we can't control our ending, then we have to make full use of the journey. Don't hesitate, spend more time with them, have a good time together. #YOLO Anyway, we regularly need kicks and reminders to not take things especially family and health for granted.

    On a side note, buy more fish for them... It's nutritious and they probably need it more. They have saved up all their life, time for them to enjoy.

    1. Alternatively, go fishing and give them wild fish to eat. LOL

    2. Hi JEs,

      The fridge has plenty of fish, but our Kung fu not as power as Zhichar...

      That's why my dad a but the sianz...


  7. Cheer up SI, there's no such thing as "becoz both your parents are diabetic, you are sure to get it". Basically diabetes occurs when your pancreas is overworked & overloaded with the stress to produce insulin. Prior to diabetes, there's a precursor to it known as the metabolic syndrome which is highly reversible & need not lead to diabetes. What you can do is every quarterly or 6-monthly to do a fasting blood glucose and insulin check. That will give you an idea of the health of your pancreas. Interventions like eating less carbohydrates (regardless simple or complex carbs) will definitely aid you too since the pancreas has to work less now.

    1. Thanks Philip

      I think with a better lifestyle, I can last longer and have less problems when it comes. I am ok even if I am down with it.