Thursday, August 21, 2014

Random thoughts: How much is your sense of self-worth

Talking about valuation exercise.

If not measured by numbers or monetary terms, what do u think is your "intrinsic value"

Why did I ask. I used to think our sense of self-worth need not be determined by our achievement at work or home.

But it is easier said than done.

I was talking to a colleague today, in the underlying tone of conversation, there is clearly self-doubt. She thinks her bosses do not think highly of her. A lot of events are construed negatively by her.

I was about to tell her to be more confidence when I remembered she told me about her failed marriage before. It dawned on me, I suffered from low self esteem in my university days too. Thinking no one will love me, I will just have to grow old with a dog.

What happen if you don't do well both at home and at work. In Chinese, we call it 祸不单行,meaning if some bad befall us, it usually come in succession, one after another. It is easy to break a person esteem.

While many might not have to chase successes to feel self-worth, most of us need some success at workplace and at home to just feel good about ourselves.

Of course, there are greedy people always searching for the next high, but many people who are "hurt" and broken, usually find very limited success. We are dependent on our external circumstances too. Our filters can filter out some noise, but it will have to be a sage to be totally cool from external failures.

So what's my point? Be nice to people, even those whining one. We do not know what they are going through. It might or might not be their own doing that they are in that particular predicament, but we never know when it will be our turn.

Fill the hearts with compassion, so that anger and other negative emotions find it more difficult to invade it.

Tough call. I know. I am just human

2 comments:

  1. Hi Mike

    Yes indeed easier say than done .

    What's the most common topic or question when we meet people who we don't know or long never meet ? That's where social comparison comes inevitably .

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  2. STI,

    How true. I am guilty of comparing social standing for a very long time. Sometime just to feel good, and when comparison is bad, feel lousy.

    Now I can ask about jobs status simply because of interests, and not feel proud or upset when comparing.

    My center has shifted away from work centerness to family and self centered.

    http://youtu.be/8hOujd8tdLY


    Enjoy! Social status and life

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