Self awareness can be scary when you don't like what you know as the truth or that your thinking is not "mainstream" In the past few days, I realized:
1) Do I love my mum?
I am coping very well with the care-giving of my ill mother because I do not really love her. I suddenly remembered how affected I was when fortune teller predicted my son had a tough life, how uncomfortable I will be if I upset my wife due to my sensitivity. I do not really have heartaches regarding my mum, to me, it really is doing my share of responsibility to care for her as well as possible to the best of my ability.
2) Fatigue is a mind thing.
While I am more tired than usual with longer "working hours", I had it worse before. During National service, while taking care of my son when he is younger, and even during my A level preparation days. They are many a times I spend only few hours sleeping because I am out catching up with friends. I feel so "sianz" and tired for working till 10 p..m. 4 days a week? It also makes me think hard about point 1.
3) Is the Media over-doing it for LKY?
I have utmost respect for him. But I am not very comfortable about the way Media is presenting his case. While there might be questionable consequences to various interest groups in his political days, I think he did not make those decisions for selfish reasons and that his contributions to Singaporeans as a whole far outweigh the grey areas. But, it made me wonder deeply about the unspoken effects on Media on the populace during special events.
Ok. Thats my babbling for me to unwind.
RIP Mr Lee, 2 things that struck me watching all the media productions of him is
1) Vision, how "wonderful" Singapore can be.
2) Strength to carry it through.