Tuesday, December 20, 2016

随心笔:虚荣心

 

记得念小学的时候,
学校要建生态花园。
校长叫我们都捐钱。
他说前人种树后人乘凉。
他叫我们鼓励父母慷慨解囊。
现在想起来,他应该也对老师施压了。
因为从不管我的老师,
突然知道我的父母是小贩,
叫我鼓励他们捐多一点。
小贩中有捞得风生水起的,我父母不是。
我把所有的积蓄拿了出来-十元。
我叫我爸爸给多一点。
我爸爸很不愿意,
我说校长、老师说的,
他就拿了十元。
我在回复表上写了20元。
老师在班上一个一个地问我们捐了多少。
我骄傲地说$20.
如果我没记错,已经是全班第三名了。
还有一两个也捐二十元,
一个捐了$50,最高的$100。
虚荣-就是想证明自己真的比别人强。

我的新校长还要把最好的25学生放在同一班。
我很想挤进去。我成功了。
我排二十几名。
虚荣-就是没有朋友,被排挤也没关系,因为名声好。

长大了,我学了投资,投资股票。
很多人听到我买股票,都觉得我很有钱或有智慧。
其实我两者都没有,就只有贪念,想赚多点钱。
后来网上很流行把自己拥有的股票价值告诉大家。
有些更棒,股息就已经几十万了。
那时候,为了出位,一拿花红就买股票,
想很快地“入榜”
虚荣-就是没钱也要打肿脸皮充胖子,
想比别人拥有的多。

后来知道自己比不来了,也不想比了。
在灵魂深处的角落,却还在比。
想比幸福,希望自己“与众不同”,希望自己花钱花得幸福,希望别人“吝啬”而失去更多,这样,又能“高人一等”
虚荣-就是不知所谓的卓越感。

都是虚的。荣华富贵。
说不比了,谈何容易。
你以为放下了,其实只是变相的缠绕。
我以为释怀了,以为心魔走了,
其实我就是魔,
魔就是我。

被驯服的狼,还是不是狼?
狼能像蝴蝶一样蜕变吗?

面对自己,才能看清。
看清后,才能接受。
接受后,才能释怀。
释怀后,再慢慢、慢慢地放下吧。

放下的虚荣,不必捡起来。
别回头。
小心它跟着你。

你爱慕虚荣吗?


 

3 comments:

  1. Sillyinvestor,

    "后来网上很流行把自己拥有的股票价值高速大家"

    高速?


    Just to let you know, you excel in writing 随心笔 posts.

    This is where you shine and stand out from the rest.

    It's also when you are speaking from your heart; and not trying to be someone else ;)

    There! That's my One Minute Compliment to you!


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oops... u spot my spelling mistake.

      Give chance can... if my cute cute pupil stumble upon this blog, she is going to laugh again ...

      They also always spot my spelling errors hehehe

      Thinking and writing in English defintely different from writing in Chinese

      Delete
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