The best parting gift I had just before I board the cruise last Friday was a call from a colleague regarding work and a dressing down that I messed up their work as I had not done my deployment properly.
I knew my little heart was really at the border of depression. I couldn't really relax and when I couldn't get any messages or whatsapp or phone call as there is no signals in international waters, I was worried. Tried as I could, I couldn't shake work off my mind and the fear that when I finally dock at port Klang today and went on data roaming my whatsapp will be flooded with work messages. It didn't. When I told my wife that I am worried about work and she asked me to relax. I didn't go further about the possibility of a "sick" mind and heart. A lot happened at work and I dun intend this to be a whinny post. I had hoped the expansive sea and the sound of sea waves will recharge my soul. LoL. So let's go back to the cruise
I had wanted 3 things from
1) good food
2) balcony time starring into the sea and quality reflection time
3) family time packed with activities
I expected a lot from 1) and little from 3)
It turns out the food from both main dinning areas suck. I was told
By several relatives that the food is exquisite and really nice.
I think the food is rather tasteless and the service of waitresses and waiters uneven. Some Are really good; they are attentive and brief us of the possible activities after dinner. They introduce the menu and ask for our input.
I also met downright rude waiter who snapped at us and was damn impatient with questions.
If not for the cafe at deck 5 I would give it a D grade.
The sea was not what I expected. It was pitch dark at night and with my son beside me, I had no time to let my mind drift freely. But I like my son's company
The activities are rather rich, but the Broadway musical almost made me fall asleep. They are good, and the stage effects are solid, just not my cup of tea for my family. The swimming pools are not meant for kids. The swallow pool is 1.4 m.
The ironic is the reflection time I had was at the casino. My wife very willingly told me I could go enjoy myself if I wanted. I sense she is genuine and is not setting a trap lol.
So I went. It was ages before I stepped into a casino. I won some initially and start making bigger bets.
I lose more. There was a point of time when I had less than 20 credits and I thought of just betting everything and go back to sleep.
Then I somehow got that "investor" in me talking"that's actually how newbie investor do, sell and take loss to ease the pain". I decided to stick to my tactic and play my game slowly. I am well aware it is all a game of luck.
I manage to claw back almost all my losses and my mind keep telling me to go and cut loss now. But the inner voice also went "keep trying keep trying"
As the night dragged on and I lost almost everything again and then hit a winning streak again. The cycles remind me of market cycles. But I never quite break even.
So many lessons/reflections for me in a game. When I am losing. It is very easy to throw more money after bad by making bigger bets and hitting the arbitary "cut loss" to ease the pain.
The ups and downs of the game. Just like the market cycles. I made a mental note not to "show hand" at my last bet. I bet big, it was close to 2am. It was break even or lose more. But I had tough luck. Better to just retire the hands at the right "high" than hope for a bumper harvest for retirement
I will be back in Singapore tomorrow. Yesterday has passed. I think I need to evolve to "survive ... "
I am pretty sure I will not be the same person if I do what I do for another 10 years. I will be more battle harden lol.
Preparing for war ...