Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Random thoughts: Acceptance

It was a roller coaster ride.

My mum had a fall, and was hospitalized. The fall was triggered by her cancer as it had spread to the brains too. It made her a lot weaker, walking is out now.

It was an hectic weekend, we managed to get part time respite nurse to care for her, and it was an unusual high season at work. I slept less than 4 hours in hospital as I worked and watch over my mum, but still can't finish my work 

Just when I was thinking things can only get better.

My wife's sister who is the same age as me, got a stroke. 

She had her successful operations but still in coma. Needlessly to say, it's another crazy running around to "care" and help, while I wonder how "effective" my care is since I felt nothing- no sorrow or sympathy. Perhaps I was too tired. 

I actually whin at a fellow blogger as I try to let off some steam. while I was very measured when my colleagues ask how are things, I am actually crying out to them to "hug me".

I have now accepted things. While the days ahead might be tough. I am not vulnerable like 2-3 days ago.

If you are down on luck, struck with unfortunate events, remember:

1) the initial flux is due to lack of acceptance of new routines that come with the circumstances. 

2) I look back, I have ease into the routine of more time with me my maiden family, now my routines is bound to change again with the caregiving of my wife's sis. While I am damn scared 2 days ago, now I accepted and is ready for the change 

3) see the silver lining. As I went about settling the maid, the respite nurse, childcare arrangements. A thought dwell on me: how the hell would poor people handle all these, without money as a support. Luckily I put a bigger emergency fund. This year or 2 would not be a problem unlike the previous time when my mum is diagnose with cancer.

4) understand the we as part of bigger forces of karma, are there for a reason. I believe my wife and I, are the best people , both in terms of willingness and money, help the family tide over this difficult period. 

5) while work is where all the stress built-up, it is also where I find solace. Time off and also looking at hope (children)

6) fighting Mr life makes fighting Mr market a joke. 阿弥陀佛

17 comments:

  1. Hi SI,

    I can imagine the fatigue that you are experiencing and the stress compounded by the piling up of work.

    I too had a recent episode when my kids took turn to be warded in the hospital and while one was warded, another was at home with high temp and another needed to be ferried to sch. In between Mom was warded too.

    It was a crazy period but it shall all pass.

    Take care.

    FFE

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. FFE thanks for dropping by.

      Think this is your first comment

      Delete
  2. Hi SI,
    Am a bit lost for words and thus would just like to share two inspirational quotes:

    The only thing that matters in life is health, family, and friends – all the rest is theatre. – Samuel A. Hardege

    It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change. - Charles Darwin, naturalist

    All the very best for you in coping with the challenging changes.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sillyinvestor,

    Jio me if you need a hug or coffee during weekdays.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi SI,

    I think we just have to laugh at all the stuff that is thrown at us and be cheerful even in the face of adversity. What else can we do right? Can't change circumstances, change mindset loh.

    My heart goes out to you.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thanks people for your encouragement

    Smol, if I got 2-3 hours, I either want to clear my work or sleep lol. Unless u want to visit my mum at my house at night lol...

    Andy, thanks... I am rather indulging on drinks )cold now, no beer though to "comfort"
    Myself

    LP, ya, heartless it might sound, but the way out

    ReplyDelete
  6. I think 6) is a deep one.. take care

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hi SI,

    My condolences.

    U must stay strong and healthy urself and knit close relationships with ur family members.

    May u and ur family be blessed.

    ReplyDelete
  8. By the way, one of my friends 37 this year who was always cheerful at least I thought... was also suddenly in coma after a brain stroke!

    He is awake but still in sedative state in hospital! Life is so unpredictable.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Ya, scare the shit out of me. Ask me sister for CI term plan

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hi SI,

    Stay positive and be strong. I'm not good with words, but if you just need someone to vent, give me a buzz. Drinks are on me. Whisky, Beer, Gin, Volka etc feel free to choose.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Derek,

      You are too kind... But I am allergic to alcohol. My wife need not worry about me 借酒行凶

      Appreciate it !

      Delete
  11. hi mike
    i am not better. my kidney function worsen. i do not know why, i was in hospital. it seem ok. but once i discharge , started to work. the kidney function is worsen.

    keep rushing in/out hospital make me very tired.

    i prepare the worse, i think more or less. i may need dialysis soon. thought it is a sad news, but i slowly slowly accept it.

    now busy searching for more information. see which dialysis method suit me the best as i still wish to work full time/ part time.

    yes, 事到如今,可能已无力哭泣,唯有接受,继续和命运搏斗

    加油!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The most happiest thing i do now is to sleep and eat.
      althought i just eat simple foods but i do feel happy.

      i have been sleeping a lot recently and post late. as i was too tired and sick recently.

      well,money wise i do not really worried much.
      i just worried whether my body able to do dialysis not as my body is really very weak, low blood.

      Delete
  12. Yeh,

    Glad that u are accepting although they are bound to be time we get angry or sad.

    Since "money" is not a problem, if it's not for me,it cannot be for you a problem.

    Just stop working and focus on recovery ...

    When things get stable, then see if u can do something meaningful, give tuition, volunteer or whatever

    ReplyDelete
  13. Hi SI,

    Glad that you have somehow found acceptance.

    I have been through something similar, twice:( Makes me wonder what did I do in my previous life to deserve all these.

    But things eventually work out for me though. So hang in there!

    I will keep your family in my prayers.

    Take care:)

    ReplyDelete
  14. PP thanks!

    It's getting really tough... Very fluid situation

    ReplyDelete