Friday, August 26, 2016

Random thoughts: Losing

No one like to lose. Especially investors, we swear never to lose money.

Can U imagine losing every quarter? Losing quarter after quarters for years?
We would most probably be bankrupt, right?

Now, if we are bankrupt, and someone ask u that the way to overturn the table, is to work harder and win at where u lost? In another word, stand up at where you fall, how would u feel? 

I think I might show the person the middle finger?

Sometimes, I think we are too harsh on our kids. I think they have been called "lazy", "attitude" accurately but unfairly.

It is a accurate description because they do not put in effort, and when led to the stream with water at their mouth, they still refuse to drink.

But it is unfair to just condemn them. Ask yourself how many failures u can take before it breaks you? Look, if you are not a good trader, u can try becoming a investor, and if u still fail, u can again walk off and be a saver. 

What if I tell you for the 10 years, no matter how you fail, u still try to hone craft as a trader? 

I felt my pupils have many problems, one of the most serious is lack of confidence and self-esteem. They doubt themselves. They wanted success but no longer think they can achieve it. 

If I fail my job for 3 years in a row, I think it might break me, in the sense I will start to set "more realistic expectations". But do we allow kids to set "realistic expectations"

I am very happy with the efforts put in and I see a change in their "hunger" for success. I finally see them smile after getting their results.

Numbers have not compassion and empathy. Do not break them further. 

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There is another type of losing. Losing to your peers. 

You make money from the stock market, then u realize every tom and dick also make money, and u wonder if u are just lucky.

U decided to look at track record, then u realize u dun have one that is longer than the person beside you.

U think u are on the right track, but the person has 30% more profits than u. 

So u set the benchmark higher so that u stop losing.

Which is worse, losing money or losing to people? 

I know the worst, losing to yourself. Lost confidence, lost passion. 




18 comments:

  1. Hi SI,

    Totally agree. No self confidence and low self esteem is very hard to correct within the time frame of my work. I had a group of them joining like 3 months (or so) before their major exams. Trying my best, 2 of them experienced some small success and generally that will motivate them to change their behaviour. One of them is still dazed and giving me all sorts of reasons why he is not working as hard as the other two.

    It's hard. I think 90% of my trouble at work comes from just 10% of students. I've about 4 such students this yr, because I changed my fees structure for them. Sometimes I wonder why I want to make my work so hard too lol

    Maybe I don't want to lose to super tutors too HAHA

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmm... LP,

      Super tutors? What is the difference? In terms of revenue? I dun really know who are "super tutors".

      Ask u huh, u have female pupils? Embrassing it might sound, I have been teaching in a boys school for 10 years, I have no prob having "heart to heart" talks with boys... But I felt rather awkward doing it with girls... And I think the awkwardness cut both ways...

      Delete
    2. Hi SI,

      Super tutors, according to Straits Times, are those that earned a lot. But I'm not referring to them, talking more about those tutors who are very good in their craft haha

      I have more female students than male, somehow. I thought female students easier to have heartfelt talk than boys? Maybe the boys in my lessons are those silent type haha

      Generally I find female students more open to sharing...also more chatty. But I've a small sample size lah, not representative.

      Delete
    3. Hmm LP,

      Maybe it's just me la. I am a very shy person LOL
      See girls already blushing muahahahah

      Yeah, so not u to compare with super tutors in monetary terms. Pupils from my current school generally less chatty regardless of gender

      Delete
  2. Sillyinvestor,

    My most memorable teacher was my Primary 3 form teacher. She was my band music teacher too.

    I have a sea of red during my mid-term exam. She never once asked me about my grades or whether I got study or not. Never hinted I should quit the band to focus on my studies too.

    All she did was to show concern for me. Spoke to my grandma about whether I was eating right (I was under nourished then; very picky on food); and what was going back home.

    All she did was to give me her attention in class and after school during band practice.

    I passed my primary 3! And I've never looked back ever since...

    Self belief is important. Although I'm a "just pass" student, I've always had the confidence I can pass ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SMOL,

      U always had the confidence, I can't say the same for some of my pupils. I have a super hardworking girl in my class, whenever we do conversation practice for oral exam, I can see that she is super nervous, always grasping her both hands, clutching the fists, and then blanking ...

      When I asked why she can't even say a line or two when she practiced and read so much "samples" already, I can see tears swelling...

      She can't transfer knowledge that easily as long as the question change a bit bit. She wanted success so much and is always the first to arrive in the additional morning sessions at 7 am sharp daily. But she seldom get the results it progress that is deserving of such efforts and focus. When I told her mum she is "A" pupil regardless of what she get in PSLE, she gave me a piss off look. Sigh...

      So glad she improve during prelim. Her performance during exam
      Is like a roller coaster... Up up down down

      Delete
    2. Btw, how often u have your band practices? If it's not more than twice a week lasting more than 3 hours, I always think it's ok.

      Dun even have to stop even if exam is near the corner.

      Need to rest and do something different right? Also get away from books for a while to be effective. My university mugging days, I read, study, run and play video games every day lor... Even when exam is near

      Wonder why so many parents are up in arms with CCA? If they can't study properly from 8-9, they can't study properly even if u give them 8-6

      Delete
    3. Sillyinvestor,

      I had band practices 2-3 times a week?

      Ah! Maybe my sharing wasn't clear...

      I meant to say my form teacher did not do anything extraordinary or used any special motivational techniques.

      All she did was showed attention to me ;)


      My confidence and self-belief came from within. Knowing they are people that cared - WITHOUT strings attached.


      When I read all these "concerns" for your students, I wonder whether its a about you...

      What's with the "interrogation" questions?

      When was the last time you listened?


      Delete
    4. I meant "interrogation" to your students ;)

      If you see them as "problem" - lacking self-esteem and confidence - it will show in your body language and tone of voice.

      Treat them as you would like to be treated ;)

      Delete
    5. Ar.... SMOL,

      I dun think I need to explain my rice bowl craft...
      I know what I am doing, the word "interrogation"
      Did not even cross my mind, so insulting...

      I always treated my pupils the way I want to be treated

      Delete
  3. Recently I met up with my ex-student where I tutored him when he was in his secondary school. He is now already 28 years now. He is "loss" in his life even though at one stage he is earning more than 5 figure a month and receiving awards in the industry.

    Sometimes it's not laziness or failure nor attitudes, it is the lack of motivation also!

    If we know how to motivate the kids or even the elderly, then we may overturn the situation...

    Motivation with passion and sincerity n love n not just telling people how to earn xx amount in xx time!

    I had a 4h heart chat with my ex students and he cried 4 times!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wa Rolf,

      What happen to your student? Why cry until like that ???

      Delete
    2. just problems in life and getting emotional on certain topics.
      Not good to tell the story in detail. It's personal.
      Nonetheless it is good for him to experience early pain in life so that he can be stronger and go farther in life.

      Among many 28 yrs old of today, he is already very sensible and wise!

      Anyway, losing is fine. Just dun lose forever and dun ever lose and give up on urself!
      the antidote is certainly love and people around you to help you recover and become stronger again....

      Delete
    3. Oh Rolf,

      Think I can somewhat make out what is going on. Think u are very kind to spend 4 hours talking to him.

      Ya, I also believe what don't break us, make us stronger

      Delete
    4. Hi SI,

      :-)

      I was very happy he felt very good after the talking. The fact that u can write this article also mean u care for the students.

      I can always feel that u and LP are great caring teachers like "Chen Liping and Li Nanxing or Chen Hanwei" :-)

      Delete
  4. Hi SI,

    There is something wrong with your first sentence. If you swear never to lose money. You will be disappointed very quickly.

    Investors should be prepared to experience losses. If you are not prepared for losses better stay away from the stock market.

    We have to learn to take losses - ideally when they are small - this is the key to long-term success. And we can't be afraid of them. Once we get to the point where we are genuinely happy to make small losses, we are well on our way to a winning mindset.

    I am still on my way with no finish line in sight yet. It takes time, patience and mindfulness to conquer loss aversion.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hi SI,

    There is something wrong with your first sentence. If you swear never to lose money. You will be disappointed very quickly.

    Investors should be prepared to experience losses. If you are not prepared for losses better stay away from the stock market.

    We have to learn to take losses - ideally when they are small - this is the key to long-term success. And we can't be afraid of them. Once we get to the point where we are genuinely happy to make small losses, we are well on our way to a winning mindset.

    I am still on my way with no finish line in sight yet. It takes time, patience and mindfulness to conquer loss aversion.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Andy,

      Long time no see. You are right, I actually mean it as kind of a "mock" LOL.

      Remember Warren 2 rules? With so many wannabe quoting it? Never lose money, never forget the first rule ?

      Delete