I felt myself drifting further into darkness. Felt cramp and compressed. "Maybe, I died. So where am I going?"
I was apprehensive. "Did I do good enough in life? Will my judgement be harsh?" I suddenly remembered all the wrong I did, and was terrified.
I was drifting and drifting. There was time I felt I was hit by something, drifting into another direction there was a time I felt the drifting picked up speed and was spinning.
"Maybe death is like a fart into nothingness" I quipped.
I forgotten how long I drifted.
I felt my senses again.
I felt it loses again. Seeing nothing, hearing nothing. I was cold. It became damn scary.
I see light again. A flickering of it? Look more like a star in darkness, it is beautiful.
"What is that familiar feeling again?"
I can't remember it. I felt that before. What was that? "Ouch! God damn it! It was pain."
"The nine-millionth had arrive. Welcome, it took awhile for the conditions to be right. Your cycle ended, it will start again soon."
"Whoa! What's that big ugly thing?"
"You stupid lowly human from planet Earth, you think you are the only life form
With a soul?" The "thing" replied.
"Quiet. There is no difference, no intelligence, just preparation for the next phase"
The thing replied respectfully "My apologies teacher, I will prepare for my shape for the next cycle."
"I would like to continue be genjxhaak in my next life form?"
"Who said that? Sigh... Is there another "human" here?" I shouted. "By the way, this feel like the 6 realms in Buddhism, just that it is a space concept not centered around human."
I felt pain. Burning.
I wondered where are my loved ones of the past, will there be here. Do everyone come here?
"Can I ask questions" I asked.
But no one answered. I drifted again. "Do souls dream too?"
There is flash of light and pain.
There is so much I want to know. I believed I am recarninating again soon, but what is there to prepare? Prepare to die again?
So who is that teacher? So death is not just non-consciousness, death is as much as alive ...
How long alive in death? Do I grow even older in death?
I saw... Myself ...
I saw... Myself ...
Saw my mum ...
"Don't be so stunned, a few cycles and u will understand it all. All these desires all these wants, emotions LOL"
"I had wanted a better me, in the next cycle... A better way to die, couldn't complain about the way I lived."
"Hey, no offense, but really not quite used to talking to myself literally."
"HAHAHA, we wanted things even when we died. We want things to be better. There is no better or worse, just passage of time and what u make of it."
"How many cycles?"
"It doesn't matter, every cycle is different."
"Once u stop trying to understand and break free, you understand and break free."
"So you are me? In another realm?"
"LOL, what is me, what is human? No I was not a human."
"Takes time, nothing changes, everything changes."