Random thoughts: Similarities matter more than differences

In teaching, I went from understanding the differences to focusing on the similarities. I feel that in going one circle, a clearer picture has emerged.

It mattered not how they learn differently, it mattered not how their have varying interešt and home support.

It matters that I go out to chase after them one by one, hunt them down like enemies. 

It matters that I focus on what I want to acheive, and whip, push everyone to meet that finishing line. 

It does not matter if they are "guai", I cannot go softie, for those who falter on the progress, chase. 

It does not matter if they have better foundation, if they cannot self-study, the chance was given, now it's time to spoon feed and chunk and make sure they learned. 

In the past, ICT is the magic tool to engage pupils, surprising, Now, it is simple word cards game that ingnite their interest. The tool is not important, the important is I go all out to make sure this tool is highly effective in teaching and assessing pupils progress. It is important I keep refining the method and get the right one that clicks

It is the similarity that is important. Why did I not do individual analysis? 

I seriously feel like a second grade teacher in my new school. It's really my luck that my previous P see my strength and overlook my weakness.

Doing book check and file check recently, I realised how disorganized I have been. If I have been a teacher under my Senior Teacher, I think I would have get into a lot of troubles.

What is the difference? Let's not dwell on  it. let's focus on trying to do the right thing from now on. I start giving model answers so that pupils' work are more organized, and Velioa, the more motivated girls in the P6 class learn really fast having a "model" to refer to. It is easily for me to change, then for them to adapt, no matter how altruistic my reasons for cognitive development and not giving model answers. 

I still have difficulty coming to terms with copying answers for corrections. But I am slowing moving towards providing answers and model for complicated solutions. 

It is really a very hectic week, where work done during the holiday is lost, causing a panic attack, especially when I am so hard pressed for time now. My school going through EV next week, management is on tight wire, those from my profession know how SEM and EV makes people go bonkers.

I focus on doing the right things for my pupils, my mum and my boss, squeezing

Whatever I can. Whatever I feel burned, my 2 thoughts to keep me going are;

Do the right thing.

Today will end soon. 

Some good things will happen along the way when I keep to this. I am not sure about pupils' results. But I think I might have found the missing mojo.

My cooking is better too now, I think.

I did this 

 

Random thoughts: Self discovery and imperfection

Self awareness can be scary when you don't like what you know as the truth or that your thinking is not "mainstream" In the past few days, I realized:

1) Do I love  my mum?
I am coping very well with the care-giving of my ill mother because I do not really love her. I suddenly remembered how affected I was when fortune teller predicted my son had a tough life, how uncomfortable I will be if I upset my wife due to my sensitivity. I do not really have heartaches regarding my mum, to me, it really is doing my share of responsibility to care for her as well as possible to the best of my ability.

2) Fatigue is  a mind thing.
While I am more tired than usual with longer "working hours", I had it worse before. During National service, while taking care of my son when he is younger, and even during my A level preparation days. They are many a times I spend only few hours sleeping because I am out catching up with friends. I feel so "sianz" and tired for working till 10 p..m. 4 days a week? It also makes me think hard about point 1.

3) Is the Media over-doing it for LKY?
I have utmost respect for him. But I am not very comfortable about the way Media is presenting his case. While there might be questionable consequences to various interest groups in his political days, I think he did not make those decisions for selfish reasons and that his contributions to Singaporeans as a whole far outweigh the grey areas. But, it made me wonder deeply about the unspoken effects on Media on the populace during special events.

Ok. Thats my babbling for me to unwind.

RIP Mr Lee, 2 things that struck me watching all the media productions of him is

1) Vision, how "wonderful" Singapore can be.

2) Strength to carry it through.

 

Random thoughts: First day of care giving.

Today is the first day while the whole family went to the specialist clinic to hear what the doctor says about my mum's conditions.

Fortunately, the cancer cells have not spread to the other parts of the body, however, she is not suitable for surgery yet, because of low blood cells and high sugar levels in the blood, she is also very badly infected due to the lumps.

The doctor showed us how to clean and disinfect the wounds, lumps, and refer us to another diabetic specialist who would work with her to keep my mum diabetic under control.

I was shocked when my brother told me mum has been eating only bread for 3 meals for the past 2 weeks due to her loss of appetite. Hence the low blood cell count is partly due to poor nutrition and lack of iron.

It is shocking because whenever we returned home, my mum would easily wipe up 4-5 dishes and I remembered seeing ingredients in the fridge. I check the fridge again today, it is still well stocked.

If there is one thing that struck me as I do care giving today, is:

I always assume my parents are highly independent. They are, but they does not mean they do not need our care, although they do not want to burden us.

When I brought fresh food to prepare dinner for them, I ask where are the salt, oil are. I realized the wok has not been clean for days. The floor mat is soaking wet. There is no proper separation of knife or chopping board for vegetables, meat or the likes. There is no paper towel to clean and dry the cutlery.

I also realized how little I know about Chinese cooking, I need to call my MIL 2 times to ask how to store food, how to prepare food, what to do, what to add etc.  

But by 5 p.m. I still managed to do these.

I taste them myself, definitely not very tasty but at least I think I didn't spoil the food.  

There was plenty of planning to do, of which my wife gave the suggestion of getting a caterer for lunch and dinner, she mentioned there are healthy options. Anyone got any lobang? I got a number, but I think they do not work in the weekend.

Lets hope everything go smoothly according to plan. Fingers crossed. 

Random thoughts: Emergency fund? Don't make my mistake.

I count my blessings. 

That now that my mum is diagnosed with 4th stage breast cancer, my siblings and I are all calm, composed and discussing. No one acted big boss, no one overly kanchong or overly helpful that actually inevitably add on to stress level. 

However, although at the back of my mind, I have always been mentally prepared that my parents hospitalization will be a big expense when the time come, it is still scary. 

Talk about 6-12 months emergency funds. I have only about 3 months, and I thought it will be enough since I have a iron rice bowl. 

What a delusional thought. 

It's ok. I think it's high time my investment and FF plan take a back seat. Over the next few days, I will be taking opportunity to increase cash. Especially the higher risk companies. I no longer can afford to wait out a bear, any profit making counters or breaking even counters might be cash out. Cannot bear to wait for it to be in red when I need money. I have reduced stake for Lippomalls, ST engineering, Sembcorp Industries and Singapore Shipping. I am grateful that I actually have the option to cash out of investment. Most probably will need money to hire another maid soon. If the price is right, I might cash out further, if the price is wrong, at least I have increased my buffer. I am going to surrender my endowment policy later in the afternoon. 

I know SMOL might not agree with this, but do get private care insurance when u are able. While it might be a myth that private care is better; trust me, when your siblings wanted the best for your loved parents, you wouldn't want to be the one clamouring for govt hospital care,

Especially when time is the essence. My mum has refused to face up to it, and refused check ups and my brother and I  didn't insist. My mum 重男轻女，when my sister ask to see what she is stuffing in her bra, she choose to hide and refused to talk to her. The doctor told us the lump is around for 2 years. 2 years! It's only in recent months that signs show: she start to slim down, etc. When my brother asked, she relent. Maybe we could have tried harder. 

A friend just told her relative treatment cost 160k in a government hospital!!! It really is scaring the shit out of me, because even if we divide that amount by three, it is still scary.

So my readers, if u are starting out in your young 20s, save and save! When you are married, there are many problems and it is harder for compounding to work. It might really be good idea to discuss with your wife about getting a car. If she is pregnant and you want convenience, get a second hand car. Explore explore explore. 

For me, I am not going to lament the past lost, or opportinity not grasped. 

I do see how much "wonder" what money can do, but I do think I can let go of money and FF dream. 

Life is still beautiful. Look at my mum, she didn't understand that her neck ache that refused to go away could well be due to the spread of cancer cells, she still bravely said after the surgery, she wanted to get it done once and for all. 

My dad who is always "verbally abused" by my mother, eyes swell when he knows she got cancer. 

My wife ask me not to worry about home. My brother and sister are not engaged in blame game. 

Me, I have more time for myself, family. 

I thanks Mr Karma for 手下留情。

Random thoughts: Investing for the present

We have always read about investing for the future and letting compounding effect works so that we can be financially independent.

Given I am still working in the holiday, with the effect of the flu medicine trying to knock me out as I work and write this post, the promise of freedom is tempting indeed.

However, we must not forget to invest in the present. Invest in relationships. Nah... Not mistress. But really, invest in yourself and your family.

I must really thank my wife who always come out with ideas on where to bring our son and her godson out for fun. She brought the sentosa 4D adventure unlimited pass that come with the free Wings of Time show. It is really a long long day, we reached home at 1030, and the next day, I work my guts out at sentosa again at the flea market.

But really, as I am feeling grumpy and tired, I count my blessing.

Nice view isn't it? Do I really have to wait to enjoy such good fortunes? I can have it now. 天伦. Look likes those hong kong series of the super rich way of living. Well the carpark is $9 per entry, I got a shock when I exited in 31 minutes. But what is $9

Investing in the present is more treacherous than sparring with Mr Market. We do know Mr Market goes in cycle, miss a bear bull cycle, you most probably have chance for 1 or another. Missed your child growing up? Good luck! 

Its really the state of mind that we are investing in when we invest for the present. Now, I am out grumpy with the work stacking and news just came that my mother might not be in pink of health yet refused check-up. I was a bit affected, and then, I went on to accept things as it is. I will try to find some weekend time for heart to heart talk in trying to persuade my mother to stop deluding. However, who am I, her son to dictate how she want to live her final years.

Beautiful isn't it? But there are no takers, after working my guts out. I simply look forward to the end of day coke. Although I cough a bit after taking cold waters, I have decided not to be too harsh on myself. Life is there to be enjoyed. 

Why am I so emo? I have 2 colleagues diagnosed with cancer recently, another colleague's wife just got a miscarriage. I have a junior staff, having sick ill-laws and dad, so stressed out that even she was down with thyroid, and what can be worse? Well, how about allergy to the thyroid medicine given by the doctor? Although my head is kind of spinning now, I feel I have a good life.

Having a good life is sparring with the shifu of Mr Market, Mr Karma. Invest on the present. 

Do not be faked by Mr Karma's moves that make you think you only need to live today. Today comes tomorrow and the day after next. It is not use trying to search for that Zen feel when you are feeling upset, instead, just be upset. Put it down and move on. 

Mr Karma do not allow compounding to work, its forces are too complex to understand. If you go today, will you have lived differently? 

Random thoughts: My experience as a flea stall owner

Sales is terrible.

I already treat the cost price of materials as donation to charity, and was hoping to just break even. Nonetheless, it was a great experience, although hectic experience, trying to be a teacher giving supplementary in the morning, a administrator handling department work and a stall owner in the afternoon.

This is what I learn:

1) Revenue can be deceiving

My cost of materials is about $200, I am selling for stuff for 100-250% profits, because I know for sure, it will not be a sold out. Surprisingly, the blank DIY kites do move, there are customers buying them for their kids to decorate the kites. SO I reduce the price of the decorated kites. Still no takers.
Last hour, everything go at below cost price, since I want to move the cost money into cash as much as possible to contribute as much as possible to charity. The day revenue is $85, I have more than half the goods left, which can be used during the school's carnival, but it pretty quite sums up the risk of looking at revenue growth only especially when profits is negative. It is not a sign of  turnaround, since it could be due to  clearing of inventories.

2) Luck play a part

The Chinese Painting Kites are beautiful, I do not mind keeping a few of them as decoration for my cubicle. In the last 30 minutes, I am already packing and keeping them when a lady came, asked about the Chinese Painting and asked to see all the paintings. She even ask for number in case she need more. Too bad, every thing is going at below cost price then. She took 3 decorated kites and 2 blank DIY kites. I could have earned 200% more if she was earlier by 1 hour.

3) Cost is important

Remember my colleague collect used stuff toys from pupils to sell. They bundle up the items for sale. They had the highest sale because the items are really dirt dirt cheap because they are free of cost anymore. It reminded me that when Lee metals is still a stockist, it used to buy scrap and sell them back as steel, although this supposedly low margin model is detest by investors, I see it in a different light now. Too bad, the poor steel market makes the merchandising arm of lee metals dying off.

4) Market analysis

Demand is always more important than cost management. Those who brought kites are parents who wanted something for their kids to do. However, many who walked past the flea market include many tourists and young couples who have no need for my product. Of course, my price is not attractive too. Ability to navigate the market is important.

How I feel:

Kids are really adorable! I was wondering if they will get bored or lazy. Nope, their energy level just keep going up as the day draw nearer to a close. My girl also went to a nearby cafe to tout which I quickly put a stop to and explaining why we cannot do that. However, A* for effort. Although her intention is fun more than advertising, she did try to use the small open area to fly the kite. LOL

I have a boy who has homework problem. He however is the one to keep doing the rounds, approaching strangers to buy the kites. The best part is they do not seem to be affected by rejections at all. The quiet girl however, really is still a quiet girl, but serve as a very responsible and reliable stall owner to take care of the cash box. 天生我才必有用，千金散尽还复来

So, although it is a long and tiring day, if you ask me to do it again next year, hell yes! But no kites

Latest action: Sold Venture

Just a short post to update readers. 

I sold Venture to increase cash.

There are 2 reasons to sell, either target is meet or moat is lost.

I am glad it is the former. 

When I research VENTURE, I see clear sky for the next 2 - 3 years and I expect to keep getting 3 round of dividends, any capital gain is bonus.

Given I got my 2.5 years of dividends in 9 months, I am contented to take risk and money off the table.

May the person taking over VENTURE huats!! 

That's why I never proclaim myself as a Value investor, I can't resist taking profits. Since my buy target is reached I pass.I do think Venture has a certain Morton terms of capabilities.