Random thoughts: Human capital

Human capital? 

What comes to your mind? 

The amount of money your skills and network can generate, payoff? Right? In simplicity, our work. 

My work for the year 2016, is drawing to a close, as usual,I am going to review my human capital.

When I started 2016, I wrote E3. I want to do be effective, efficient and engaging in my teaching. I think I done all three. I do not want to review how effective, neither do I want to put a value to it, I know I have make a conscious effort in these areas and I made progress. Period.

That is the capital part.

Now the human part. 

That is the high point.

I never thought I would almost break into tears talking about a pupil. She did very well for my subject. In the past, she would already be a asset to my KPI, a plus, a cause for joy. But because she did badly for the rest, she couldn't get into even normal stream. Whenever I think of her, my heart aches. Human... 

I have a colleague just gotten married. We discuss work even late into the night, and it will go on to philosophical views on teaching, people and expectations etc. 

On the day after her wedding, she texted me to thank me for attending the wedding. She told me she felt like crying when she saw me. 

She said she wanted to take a picture with me, made me feel like her father. Human... She said she really appreciate the trust and confidence I have on her regarding her work.

On the last day of school day, my co-form organized a class party. My pupils ask me for ice-creams LOL.

I remembered jumping with joy when running towards them at the canteen. Human... I felt like a little kid again. My pupils start bringing food to me, some told me their mother prepare it with them, so just wanted me to taste more food. I felt like a star.

I remember telling a mother during end of year meet parent session, that her daughter is visibly unhappy from semester 2 onwards. And in term 4, even more visibly so. I was rather afraid that I might make things worse. But luckily the mum felt apologetic and when I checked with my pupil the next day, she told me her mum did sayang her and told her that she is sorry for pushing her so much. But the weirdest thing is, I felt no positive energy from her. 

I even manage to have some exchanges about work, life, philosophy about academic pursuit with a parent, something that never happened in my past decade as a teacher. She even send me videos about a wonderful teacher, how that teacher touched life. That video is how we use human capital not to prosper, but help others. 

My supervisor ask me, what is my high point. I told her help my colleague get a good appraisal grade and see her smile when I told her she finally made it... 

The dark side of human.

I lost quite a bit of self-confidence, self-doubts about my capabilities as a manager has set in. 

I remember, only ticking "communication and team building" as strength in the list of areas in my review paper. I can't honestly think of other strengths.

In fact, this post on review of human capital, I can't find anything else to write, except people. Can't write results, systems set up, culture etc. 

But it's ok. Its what that matters most to me. 

How has your work been? 

Random thoughts: my pupils' dream job

It is winding down to the end of the year. 

I introduce Windows Publisher to my pupils, and asked my pupils to do a business card for themselves.

I told them upfront, choose something u want to be, u like, dun worry about money, forget about your parents ' expectations for a while. It is just a fun exercise, think of a job that will make you happy!

If really being a lawyer or doctor is what you want, go ahead. 

My top class has the most pupils wanting to be doctors. It is still the most popular job. But it is very interesting that it of a class of 32, the second popular job is to be a singer and a piano teacher.

I told my class my first choice since I was a little kid is to be a teacher, second choice, singer! They laughed. One pupil ask me to sing. LOL

But surprise, surprise! They is so much creativity! I enjoyed myself. So what are the top few creative/interesting  jobs my pupils aspired to be?

1) Hacker ( love this P6 guy, super beng, but he not say say only ok, he showed me some "coding", and my jaws dropped)

 

2) Pokémon Trainer ( LOL, well, I think that's cool)

 

3) Rami burger chef 

4) Ice-skater ( She is only P4, after she finished her business card, she watch a u-tube on skating. I asked her if she knows all those stunts, she told me she could, she already won 2 golds, and her coach told her she has to wait 2 years before she can take part in international competition! "Got eyes cannot recognize Tarzans") 

 

5) Writer

6) Anime creator 

Then I did some cheapo chit chat. I ask, "if I am sick, will u take care of me and give me a discount?", some doctors aspirants readily said yes! Some pondered  a long time and said "ok la". I tease them, "how much discount would I get? " She said "10%" Hmm... I think I need to emphasize generosity more.

I had fun! I thought I got to know my pupils better in this 1 "bo Liao" session than the whole year for most of them. 

When I printed out the name cards and gave it to them, one P6 girl was elated! And she kept it in her wallet, very proud of her name card. Made my day. 

Random thoughts: Pokémon exhibition at SEA

My weekend outing.

 

It is quite a ex exhibition, for $8, u get a pokeball, and u can use it interact with 4 machines to get clues on what Pokémon is hidden in it. There are 8 machines, some with clues like height or weight is just a waste of time.

The funny thing is, when u use your pokeball at the end to reveal the answer, you pokeball is actually reset and u can play with the various machines again, like clue on their voice, shadow etc.

So, if u really want to have fun, go in a group, solve the puzzle, but do not tell each other the answer. Once u reset the ball and gotten your answer, swop it with your friend and play it again. 

LOL... cheapskate I know ... 

The photo taking session with pikachu is at 430 pm if u are interested. 

 

 

Random thoughts: A 3-part lesson about thinking out of the box

SMOL keep writting about his teachers; it gave me the itch to write about my teaching. 

There is a chapter about Lim Bo Seng, our War Hero. Instead of the usual lesson, (it's after exam), I ask the pupils to extract info from the text to make into a pamphlet .

I told them to choose sides, if u are Guerilla fighters on Lim Bo Seng side, what would write in the secret pamphlets  about his death? If u are Japanese imperial Army, what would u write in the Phamplets? 

In this exercise, I challenged this top class that it is easier to write from Lim Bo Seng's Side perspective. I am glad quite a few tool out the challenges and wrote from the perspective of Japanese Army.

When I explained their "errors", I did not focus so much of the content, but the target audience, the setting, era which the pamphlet should be in and most importantly the "purpose" of writing this pamphlet. The purpose of writing from the side of Japanese is lost for those who wrote in that angle except for 1 boy. 

I told them to think about issues from different perspectives. 

The third lesson, it was a vocabulary revision exercise. Given this is a top class. They do not have problem. 

I have this decoding game (through answering quizzes) where the pupils decode and key in to code to a tinyurl page and it will lead them to a page with a Pokémon creature ! They are supposed to do a screen shot and the creature is considered "captured" 

There is this mad rush to decode for the prize to 6 pokemons. This is so much excitement.

After I have the prize to the fastest player, and ensure every group has at least one player with 4 creatures captured, I change the challenge.

Every one in the group must have at least 4 creatures. I told them to think out of the box. 

I saw every group frantically trying to solve the puzzle with those already done telling them the answers. Some groups just stick to themselves and continue to solve the puzzle as soon as possible. 

It took about 5 min for 2 groups to complete the task. I told them I can do it in 10 seconds. "How?" They asked. I said, just take photos of the 1 player's work, and all of you will have the "creature" at the photo gallery, isn't it?

One boy protested loudly," see! I told you, Cher! I thought about it but he said it is cheating!"

I ask the pupils to think about "cheating" as the bell went. 

The following day, I ask them about cheating, think about perspective, and what is their take. I gave my take on the whole thing. I also link it back to the topic about Japanese and Guerilla fighters and ask them who is right and who is wrong. Why is it wrong? They said killing is wrong. I ask them, you mean the Guerilla fighters did not kill Japanese? Is it if you are Japanese, you fight for Japanese, if you are Chinese, you fight for Lim Bo Seng? Is that right? I saw confuse faces.

The sad thing is, I felt that the whole thingy is a flop. As I only see "spark" in one person's eye, and a few pupils "pondering hard" about what I said. Most pupils gave me the "huh, never mind, this is not examinable" or "totally lost" look. Then the usual deadly "ignorance   Noding of heads" LOL.

But no regrets. I had fun. 

Random thoughts: Avenger station and Genting Jurong

It is a family day. Went to Avenger station exhibition at science center. Avenger Exhibition is a "business" of Cityneon. So do I like it?

I don't. I ask my son and godson, do they prefer Avenger or plain simple "science center" which we visited too. My son preferred science center.

This is a lot of "ho-ha" at the entrance of Avengers, downloading App, logging into their Wifi, registering etc.

It seems like there is "customize" interactive exhibits. I was expecting a blow-away experience, since I heard Las Vegas exhibition is a big success. 

No lor, the app is quite a letdown. The unlocking of "quiz", "photo templates", and videos and audios are quite "redundant. 

The scoring is only through quiz. The long queue at Iron Man zone, to put it plainly, it just a Wii Game (movement sensor) with a big TV and it is hardly even a game. The killing of Ultrons I suspect is "automatic" as long as you move your hand. 

Boring, is my personal verdict, and I prefer Science Center, with a free Science Show about "sound" that is surprising entertaining. 

There is a new exhibit on Climax change, and with my son older and able to read the instructions, the exhibits are really interactive. I was also quite mesmerize by the 21th day hatching of chicks, and I see chicks trying to break open their shell. 

I went Genting Jurong to scuttlebutt. Yes, I am interested in Genting Singapore, but that is before the recent strong Quarter. 

Genting Jurong has only 1 F&B outlet which only serve Buffett. I am surprise, and it is not cheap. It is $45. It is also rather cram, although it's lobby is classy. I do not see any entertainment. 

Random thoughts: Wrong

My concept of "Right" and "wrong" is always evolving.

I used to self-righteous when I was a teenager, then I saw different perspectives such as time, place, intention and stand etc, I felt it is a world of grey.

It seldom bothers me anymore, what wrongs other do unless it very badly affect me, which seldom happens. It should not anyway, for example, if u say you have chosen the "wrong" wife, then it would  really badly affect a person, but how can that be? In such a case, like a failed marriage, I would have to bear big responsibilities too, it would be wrong to have a "victim" mentality. In "Victim" mentality, we ceded control and responsibility to external factors.

However, it is possible to be a "perpetrator". I now understand the phrase "when u own the bank 1 million, it's your problem, but when u owned the bank 10 billion, it's a bank problem" There is indeed the choice of "lesser evil" after balancing all trade-offs, and decide a "wrong" affect less people, then "correcting" it does.

I am giving myself an excuse to do wrong, so just excuse me.

Random thought: That feeling of being young

That feeling of being young?

Having a hell lots of fun, enjoying every single part of company, fussing over the wrong words said.

"Torn" the night as I used to say it.

Saying nothing and listening, trying to make a good impression.

Feeling free to do whatever one like, and yet felt important to make an impression.

So excited that I keep blabbering rubbish. 

Screaming and shouting over a scoring of a game. Feeling tired yet wishing the day has not ended. Wanted to take it cool but also wanted very badly to win. 

That was a camp, I felt younger by 20 years. 

The nice rainbow yesterday mark the start of a feeling forgotten since a decade. 

Reliving it again, a blessing. 

Random thoughts: Weekend musings

Gold is worth 200k or a million?

The explanation years ago, by minister/ minster or state is the level of competition, meaning the number of competitors are vastly different. One go through the heats, semi finals than finals, while another went straight to the finals.

I felt for someone with an inherent disadvantage, the heats and semi finals are in his/ her life stages, and it may not be any easier. 

I was just amused until my colleague told me its "unfair" and the disparity is too big.  It means me wonder if the public miss the point. 

Recognition is good, important in fact. But can be measured in dollars? Ask the parents if there is no prize money, will they send him to USA? I dun know, I am not them, but I think they will. 

Then the issue of "signaling", what are we teaching our young kids with this disparity? 

I think we are teaching "reality". At the same time, the winners and the winner wannabes, they are trying to prove to others and most importantly to themselves what they are made of, value is intrinsic, less extrinsic, and when it is extrinsic, it is hardly monetary. "I do not wish to let down those who supported me so much in this journey", rather than "shucks, just 0.4 seconds and it's a quarter million"

Of course, there is nothing wrong tangling carrots. But u catch rabbits when u tangle carrots. There is a difference between scavengers and hunters, although they are not mutually exclusive. T-Rex is also a scavenger at times, but a pure scavenger can never be a hunter, and a rabbit never a eagle. 

Work and Tacomb   

I read plenty recently about "dog eat dog", office politics, etc. while I am glad my sector is relatively tamed in "politics" and basically no real "back-stabbing" (since our pay has nothing to do with targets and sales, at least not significantly ), I wonder if those who complained about "politics" are part of the politics.

I realize how much people take things "personally" and do not "speak their mind" and they claim its for self-defense.

Ya, blame the world, they made me who I am. While defintely, survivability will change a person, how many decisions you made is really a "survivability" decision? Will doing what u believe is right or refraining from doing what is wrong cost you your job? Seriously? 

Now, one more level, will that decision cost you that performance bonus? Seriously? Seriously, u think your boss is really blind that he/she will take whatever bad mouths about you at face value, or is that what your boss observed and hear overlapped? Or are you just afraid that it might cost you your performance? 

I am a male prositute, I want money and need my income, I am not an contender for FI, but I still do what I believe, whenever I could, say what I think is right, whenever suitable. Did it cost me my job, my promotion, my performance? 

No, maybe not yet. My boss hint I "low EQ", I am ok. I know where she is coming from. My RO told me to toe the line when a decision is made, that I agree. I dun seek to "change the rules", 

But I am not helpless within the rules, there can be so many creative interpretation of rules? How about being shameless and live in your belief as long as possible until it is not possible (power taken away, or warning given) and be ready to say "I am sorry". That is how I cope... I felt horrible when I failed myself, but less when I am reprimanded for not toeing the line that is counter to my belief. 

My staff sometimes ask me, "like that how? Can meh, sure a not", I tell them do what u believe is the best for your pupils, as long as you can. Then I will apologize on you behalf. 

I know I am the odd one and weirdo. That's why I am planning my succession. I think my organization can only take my harming/ toxic for 5-6 years, before the system caught up with us. So I am passing my helm over slowly, and when the time is right, I will extract myself to poison another place ... LOL.

While, I am not at odds with myself over my core beliefs, I do think my capacity to grow the unit is really limited. Always ready to pass on to the next better player. 

Random thoughts: "beautiful souls"- a thought-provoking book

"Beautiful souls" is a wonderful book, it is cognitively stimulating and emotionally disturbing. It contains 4 true stories about  the courage and conscious of ordinary people in extraordinary times.

Just 1 story, and it stirs me. The story about the police captain who falsified papers so that Jews can stay in Swiss. 

It is not just a recount of what happens but also explanations of why it happens, with modern explanations why people do what they did. 

I remembered LP and I were talking about neutral good/evil. We weighed our options before committing. 

I found that this weighing of options, would properly mean I would have done the opposite, if I was in his shoes. Sending the Jews back to Austria. 

I had a break before reading the whole chapter, (waiting for my wife to finish her facial) and I thought to myself, if everyone is like him, wouldn't the place be swarmed with Jews and become a obvious target of hilter, who already annexed Austria? 

The author addressed this point, the "delegate" or shifting of obvious responsibilities to higher "doctrination", it also attempt to explain why the Nazis were able to do systemic killings. In short, they hid behind "were told to so", "others were all doing it" and there is a "greater reasoning" for all these.

The 3 factors applied also to the other side, who simply followed orders to send back the Jews to Austria. 

There is also one explanation that the "proximity" to the refugees, is why the police captain couldn't say no, while other captains "afraid of moral dilemma" simply delegate the duties of sending teh Jews back to more junior officers. 

The explanations are backed by modern experiments and not just by theories. There is this experiment of effect of "carrot and stick" but the test  was just carrot, and someone need to press the button to send electric shock of various intensity to a actor who will pretend to be uncomfortable, protest, shriek in pain and pass out. There are various variables introduce for the experiments but a high 60% of people would just continue to administer pain even if the actor is at the verge of passing out 

After the police captain was caught breaking the law, not only was he dimissed, experince hardship, but also had his reputations smeared that he was corrupted and receive monetary and sexual favors from those he helped. 

I shall not go into details, but the book classify those with moral courage into 2 groups, one who simply did what is right within his power, and others with conviction to lead opposition (change the world), the police captain belonged to the former.

While I was marveling at what moral courage he possessed and thinking he was angel on earth and happy they history has finally returned his name, the author wrote that the "glorifying" of his deeds decades after he died is yet another example of how he is extraordinary, gave the masses the excuse to delegate responsibility to be good to others within our power. We all could have done the choice under his circumstances, we need no superpower. It was like a big slap in my face and I felt ashamed. It's a bit like how my centuries, China has abused "Confucius" to confuse and enslaved the masses. 

A book that is worth reading. I am glad I picked the book. My paraphrasing of the content might not be accurate, just feel really like blogging about reading it. Pardon me. 

Random thoughts: In search of that perfect life?

What is life? 

Can write a book on this? But let's simplify it and say life is how we spend our time? "A sick spending the rest of his life in bed", we can replace "life" with "time", isn't it?

So, we spend most of our time at work, at home, with ourselves. Of course there are variations for retirees, men of leisure, home makers as well, but one way of another, we have at least one of these few domains as of how we spend our time. 

Is our work perfect? Defintely not, u might be pissed off with your boss, with different ideas about how to manage your team, bored down with politics etc.

Is our family life perfect? Do we not have money problems, quarrels, lack of attention, differences in bringing up of child, how best to take care of elderly etc?

Is my personal life perfect! No, we have our inner demons, we have our unfulfilled ambitions, and our untapped passion

Since our time is our life. How we spend our time determine the quality of our life.

The pursuit of FI is to free up time. The important thing to this, do u know what u want to do when u do have time at hand? "Ok la, think I will continue to work" I always hear this, if this is what you want, why pull your hairs saving and investing and not spend time on other things now. 

If "wanted to have 1 million, 200k is enough for me to sustain myself, and the rest I will set up a fund to help elderly", is your mantra, every second in investing and saving for the future is your "perfect life", because every second is well spent living your life according to your beliefs. 

Same same but different. 

So how I spend my time, has nothing/little to do with how others spend their time unless we have a common goal, or how much others have in their FI days.

Every second passed, you are one step closer to death, spend it wisely and most importantly, happily. Chase after what really matters, and if there are imperfection in the way you think your time is spent, make the best out of it. 

Make the best of time. The f** rich also only have 24 hours a day, it's how we spend it that make a difference. 

Random thoughts: Paradox of kindness?

I have read this before: great compassion needs greet wisdom, or that compassion might amount to nothing.

I began to feel and understand this statement more. 

Kindness is rather paradoxical, pure kindness mean you do not think too much, you have the "intention" to help, and u did. What has wisdom got to this with kindness?

Kindness depends on the giver or the recipient? If only intention counts, then it depends on the giver?

What if the recipient do not accept your kindness? Who are we to determine what is better? Are there cases that recipients do not want our help but we still need to help? You bet! Think of depression cases. Would they want your "kindness"? To them it is "pity" or you are treating them like beggars. But we carry on as far as we could nonetheless. 

But if it's only/ more about the giver, note the pitfall of self-righteousness. (自命清高）

If it all about the recipients, how do we draw the line besides cases of "depression"

The biggest parodox is: Just continue doing it nonetheless. 

Better to be self-righteous and get a slap one day than missed a chance that is possible for u to make a difference.

Better to be over-zealous and realize you are unhappy of helping, because you care too much of other people business that are unimportant than you woke out one day and saw your own pathetic self. 

Of course, kindness with strings attached is not kindness. 

So, I am so kind to him, why is his ungrateful? The word "ungrateful" do not appear in the dictionary of "kindness"

If we to fatten ourselves, that is not kindness too. It's a transaction. It does not have to be a monetary transaction, it can be an emotional transaction. For example, after "helping" someone, you feel "happy" because u feel "damn power"? 

Did u see the parodox? Or there is none to begin with? 

Random thoughts: Recent retail experince

Recently, I need to set up a photo booth for my mid-autumn event. I needed a backdrop. It cost $250, it is a plain sky blue color cloth with stands, dimension is 3 by 2 m. It is rented, and have to be returned post event. (Lobang settled by my colleague)

I still need to worry about decorating it with mid-autumn theme. I am so busy that I asked my colleagues if I could just cut and past pictures from Internet and enlarged it to much bigger size, and put them up.

My colleagues told me it won't be cheap. I don't really mind forking out on my own (exceed budget), but the designing and cutting is also very lechek.

My colleague ask if I want to try my luck renting one of those backdrops from wedding photography studio. 

I decide to ask around more and did both people and online research. Wow, and I got a supplier from Aliexpress that have backdrop like this for only $80 (after shipping costs)

Of course, as with all online purchases, what u see might not be what u get, but at least I will have something to put up with minimum efforts. Best of all, I can recycled it and it's within budget. Now instead of 1 backdrop, I got 3. Talk about value for money!!

Aliexpress tracking system is also good enough for me. I know payment is verified, awaiting shipment and my most recent status just 5 working days after my purchase is being shipped out. 

I asked my colleague if he would have problem cancelling the previous backdrop order. He said not a problem, anytime, he had not pay and didn't commit to buy. I say once I received the goods and its in good conditions, he can proceed to cancel it. 

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Last week, my family had a walk at the airport, I went to the bookshop and wanted to get a book "Chronicles of our troubled times" I flipped through it and saw various titles that really interest me, like "Greeks are not lazy"

It wasn't a thick book, and I think I can finished it within 2-3 hours. I looked at the price and it really pissed me off. Thirty over dollars? 

I did the shameless thing and search online, I saw different platforms selling online version of it and some offering monthly subscription for million of different book titles. I didn't bite.

I went to NLB, they didn't have the title. I guess it is very recently published.

Yesterday, I took my son to the library and tried my luck again. hey! They have it, I immediately placed a reservation for it, only $1.55. Kudos to NLB for being so efficient. 

If u ask me to buy "the intelligent investor" for 40 bucks, I would and I did, because there is a wealth of information and u can reread them several times to gain different insights or simply just refer to it from time to time. But that book, just doesn't make sense. 

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In conclusion, it makes me feel that brick and mortar retail concept really need to rethink their service and value-addedness if they want to compete.

Random thoughts: Losing

No one like to lose. Especially investors, we swear never to lose money.

Can U imagine losing every quarter? Losing quarter after quarters for years?

We would most probably be bankrupt, right?

Now, if we are bankrupt, and someone ask u that the way to overturn the table, is to work harder and win at where u lost? In another word, stand up at where you fall, how would u feel? 

I think I might show the person the middle finger?

Sometimes, I think we are too harsh on our kids. I think they have been called "lazy", "attitude" accurately but unfairly.

It is a accurate description because they do not put in effort, and when led to the stream with water at their mouth, they still refuse to drink.

But it is unfair to just condemn them. Ask yourself how many failures u can take before it breaks you? Look, if you are not a good trader, u can try becoming a investor, and if u still fail, u can again walk off and be a saver. 

What if I tell you for the 10 years, no matter how you fail, u still try to hone craft as a trader? 

I felt my pupils have many problems, one of the most serious is lack of confidence and self-esteem. They doubt themselves. They wanted success but no longer think they can achieve it. 

If I fail my job for 3 years in a row, I think it might break me, in the sense I will start to set "more realistic expectations". But do we allow kids to set "realistic expectations"

I am very happy with the efforts put in and I see a change in their "hunger" for success. I finally see them smile after getting their results.

Numbers have not compassion and empathy. Do not break them further. 

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There is another type of losing. Losing to your peers. 

You make money from the stock market, then u realize every tom and dick also make money, and u wonder if u are just lucky.

U decided to look at track record, then u realize u dun have one that is longer than the person beside you.

U think u are on the right track, but the person has 30% more profits than u. 

So u set the benchmark higher so that u stop losing.

Which is worse, losing money or losing to people? 

I know the worst, losing to yourself. Lost confidence, lost passion. 

Random thoughts: Caught between a rock and a hard place?

Chill, this is not as serious as the heading suggested, ok?

If you are pragmatic, pursuing FI and generally frugal, but your wife wanted the finer things in life, something along the line of 5C, what would you do?

I guess depending on the threshold and how big is the gap, everyone's answer will be different. I guess not many would allow the family fiances go into ruin by living like there is no tomorrow. But how about taking a loan to live in a private condominium? How about a maid? A car? Annual overseas trip, best enrichment classes for children.

I felt very blessed that my wife did not ask for the sky, but I would definitely prefer to save more and live maybe another one of two notch below my means? So, is giving in to your wife necessary means you are throwing cautious into the winds?

I had my quarrels, so here is just my personal sharing of Dos and Don'ts.

Don'ts

1) Don't raise your voice when talking about money matters.

2) Don't tell her you know of a blogger AK that achieve FI below the age of 40, and how inspired you are by him. (You can be inspired but don't expect her to be)

3) Don't expect mountains to shift in one night

4) Don't expect her to give in all the time

Dos

1) Do show her how tight the fiances really are. (Provide breakdown)

2) Do give in whenever possible, hey, you married her to give her a good life, remembered? You said that in that vow, material satisfaction is still satisfaction.

3) Start changing your habits first. Stop taking your starbucks coffee, stop taking cab, buying comic, etc. Look at your favorite PC game flashing outside that shop, and talked about the storyline, the gameplay, how it has accompanied your childhood. If she said the magic word "buy", you strike lottery, and say, "Its Ok, I rather save the money for the family"

4) Give her more control over "assets", sense of security is precious. You will be surprised how often women will say, "Its Ok, thank you" when you offer to pay without her asking, and asking if she like to have something without her even looking.

Of course, we all like to be in those drama stories, where we all suffer together and then later, because of your frugality and hardwork, you achieved FI and can live like no tomorrow, you think she should also have delayed gratification so that both of you can have a bigger pie later on in life.

Good for you, I live by the day. Thank you

Random thoughts: Rethink work-life balance

Is there really such a thing as work life balance?

There is, but it is not about work load per se, but about not bringing the baggages of work home. 

Let's face it, for most of us, we spent the most time at work unless we are man of leisure. I think for most, it's inevitable that we bring work home. But that should be it. Bring work home but not the stress and baggages that come with work.

Over the weekend, I had a long backlog of work. I did some of it, and felt unrest. Since I was working every day, hence the rest of the time that I spent with my family felt more like a chore than enjoyment. This is unwise. The fact that I am easily irritable didn't go unnoticed. Of course, irritable does not mean I throw my temper or become very impatient, but there is no point not enjoying the "now" because of the future "stress" of unfinished work.

I could have ask for "time off" for work nicely, but the tone and aggressiveness in request, etc should not show I am irritated.

Also be wary of mental imprisonment. You are not doing any work but your mind is at work, that lesson, that pupil etc. Physical presence counts but wholly presence is better. Already companionship is at war with Smartphones. 

Work life balance need the balance of the heart.

It is not easy, but when I think of my wife also juggling with work, I complain less.
When I think of the time when "working" is a luxury, I grumble less.
When efficiency is compromised, I tend to be irritated, I need to learn to slow down and listen when my child talks to me, the "disturbance" might not take too long. LOL

Of course, when I struggle for time, I yearn FI, but I know it's all a bubble.

Balance is at the heart.

Random story: Game of life

Everything is computerized in the transist area. 

All the souls are awaiting to go through the portal to be reborned. They hold out their palms to be scanned. 

---------

Karma points: 187

---------

Do u wish to redeem your karma points? 

Brandon decided to key "No" and he left. He knows he will be reborned in the realm of humans and is not particular.

I went up to the machine. I clicked "yes"

Please decide which area would u like to allocate points to:

1) Loved ones 

2) Health

3) Career

4) Wealth 

5) Intelligence 

6) Wisdom 

7) Courage

Hmm... 

How should I choose? Maybe add some points to wisdom. Hey! Why is my wealth bar so low to begin with? Maybe I will add to wealth bar? 

I don't want to be born too poor. Ok. I will leave some next life. Just increase my wealth score. I Clicked "ok"

------------

Democracy has catch up with the afterlife. While the realm is pre-determined, souls have options to choose how to spend their karma points or accumulate for upgrade to another realm. 

------------

The maker asked the engineer to analyze the trend of choices of the souls. 

The results were as follow:

Those with high scores or scores within striking distance of an upgrade usually leave the points intact for accumulation. 

Those with lower scores usually redeem their points.

For those who made their choices, the order of preference is: 

Health, wealth and loved ones. 

Suddenly the system flash and an alarm went off! The engineer panic. It seems there is a virus affecting the attributes, whatever choices the souls made, have their scores mixed up. The engineer tried fanatically to restore the system.

No worries no worries, the engineer told the maker, I have a back up! I can restore the system. 

The system was restored. It seems only one attribute was not affected by the virus. 

The maker saw the report and smiled.he said: As I expected, technology also followed the law of nature. No worries 

He gave the engineer a pad. The engineer shouted: I will

Improve it so that it will not happen again.

The marker didn't say anything.

It will always happen.

Random thoughts: Putting ourselves in others' shoes?

I think we have all heard the above phrase before. 

Can we? Really?

If we can't see ourselves clearly. We can't.

Recently, my wife and MIL have been trying very hard to console someone close to them to snap out of her depression and her negativity.

Usually the person get on my MIL's nerves by being too negative and grouchy. While I feel that her predicaments are largely due to her own earlier actions, I cannot quite agree with some of the comments made by my wife and MiL.

When we are low in our life, some of us wallow in sorrow for a while and stand up. But there are others who cannot wake up.

I dun agree that she is depressed and sucidal, but I do think she is sick mentally and she need help. 

I tried cajoling her to do chanting at temple and borrow books for her to read. No use. I told my MIL to advise her to see a counsellor whom I know. I think she is mentally sicked. 

While I believed my MIL have good intentions, her words are neither hardly kind enough for one to feel love or harsh enough for one to wake up. And they complain loudly why is she like that. Having being through a rough period, I am not sure if myself, or my MIL or my wife can be any better if they are in her shoes? I should not take so long to snap out of it, I think.

Easy to say, difficult to put oneself in other shoes.

When I was 6 or 7, I remembered my brother having fever in the middle of the night. All the clinics were closed and my mum brought me and my brother to walk all the way to balestiar to see a 24 hour parkway hospital. 

When told consultation fees after mid-night is $60, my mum left without allowing my bro to seek treatments and scolded him harshly.

I felt that my mum dun love us enough and was very stingy with money.

It was only very recently, when I walk past the building again, and recalled this incident again ( dun ask me why).

I suddenly understand. She might not have $60 with her then. She must be very frustrated with the situation and not knowing how to manage it, ended up scolding my brother.

If I have no money for my son to see a doctor, I think I will feel super miserable. 

It took me 30 years to put myself in her shoes.

Who said empathy is easy 

Common traits of an effective teacher

Having the advantages of being in 2 schools and also in the vantage position of able to observe lessons of different teachers in action, I think I can start to see some common traits of highly effective teachers. 

By "Effective", I mean able to value-add in terms of marks. It is scientific and easily tracked, but I am not discounting the intangibles. So here go.

1) systemic approach with the end in mind.

All teachers have an approach to writing, reading, or whatever skills u are talking about. It's never about a lesson, it's about the year. There are various milestones to achieve, the work done by pupils are progressive and structured. 

2) Practicality trumps innovations. 

It might be counter-intuitive here. U don't see these teachers pursuing "flavors of the month", going for rara showmanship. One of them told me very bluntly, I use no ICT for my graduating class, very minimal unless mandated. She teaches a spectrum of pupils, both high progress and low progress, and are able to produce excellent results for any group.  

This is not to say these group of teachers are not receptive to feedbacks. To begin with, they would have given much thoughts to a lesson or a concept. When u give valid feedbacks, they are excited and adapted very quickly. 

If it is a new concept, they will try, and if does not produce "results" they will axe it and say it is useless. 

They dun spend time discussing, they do it and refine it. 

3) They "waste" a lot of time talking "male chicken" to their children

Again, counterintuitive. Ladies also do "make chicken" talking. They talk about their past, relate their experiences, in short, they work on the emotional aspect of their children, and not just their cognitive aspect.

4) They customize their work for their children.

A file check on these teachers, or lesson observations all show the same thing. We might have already jointly develop resources, discuss what is needed to teach a certain skill properly. They will go back, create additional PowerPoint, different practices, extra resources so that it suits their style and belief when executing those lessons. Same same but different.

5) Drill to the last detail and pursue the last enemy

This is the most ruthless trait of all. In writing, it goes down to the spelling of common words, daily spelling of it, frequent writing of it, staying back to teach slowly, finding whatever time possible for additional lessons. 

In oral, it goes to memorizing of conversation structure,1 to 1 coaching, reading of samples, fluency, confidence level and etc

I just finished my mid-year review for myself and my department. The results was rather bad, my pupils' included.

My P ask me to consult the "effective" teacher and ask how. I knew the answers but nonetheless have a talk with her. 

Well, I did gain some additional insights but her suggestions are more aligned to my beliefs than my P. My P ask if I want to deploy teachers to co-teach? Or get them to emulate "successful teachers" tactics. I said it will not work that way. 

The effective teacher said the same thing as me, it's about the teacher pursuing the last pupils down to the last details. He and she must be willing to spent extra time if necessary (do whatever I takes) to have enough frequency in whatever is done so that pupils can achieve competency/ mastery in what they need to do.

It is never about a lesson plan. Never about the tool of the lesson. They are important, but the teacher behind them

Make all the differences. 

Both the horse and the cart are important. Just don't put the cart in front of the horse. There is too much focus on methods and tools and too little focus on the teachers. 

Same same but different. 

Random thoughts: New Year, New approach to work

Last year was a rough patch in my work.I am not kidding when I said I contemplated quitting my job.
Now, I am feeling much better and would rate job satisfaction back to the long term average of 7 out of 10.So what have changed?

Nothing, the demands of the job are the same, maybe perhaps even more. What really changed is my mindset. With the change of my mindset, I did the following:

1. Create more time by working at nights after my family go to bed and also on weekends when I visited my parents.
2. Became more forgiving of myself. I told myself it's ok to be the weakest manager in school, just keep improving and stick to my core values.
3. Always asking how can I add value to the system 
4. Delegate more tasks to my able colleagues 
5. Happy that I can live by my own values at my department level (since I am the boss LOL) 

I no longer fear decision making or that my colleagues are better than me Perhaps my skin got thicker. Many times last year, when I would groan about doing certain work, I would now see it as an opportunity to add value in the system. I am also more hands on and start to manage and indeed feel like I am part of the team running the school.

I not longer have inner demons screaming at me at whatever I do. I said things as it is, never considering how the opposite party would have an opinion at me. I am very mindful to be kind in my speech but I no longer doubt myself and bothered about how others would think little of me. In short, the self-inferior complex is gone. I am well aware that I might not be as good as others, but "its OK" I have also done several "wrong things" this year, things I would definitely do differently if I have the chance. However, I forgive myself and moved on. 

"What if I still do not produced results" this year? I still have this doubt and inner demon. But at least it is not screaming at me.

I just did a bo liao lesson with my P4 class. I felt "young" again, spending hours preparing and uploading pupils' work and showcasing their work. I used to do that, I shall share with you 1-2 work    

Nice? 

Random thoughts: This picture makes my day!

My pupil during her weekly journal,

Complained that I seldom call

On her to answer question. This is because I know she always get the right answer.

But she drew a picture, and I think I look very handsome !! LOL 

The joy of being a teacher LoL