I began to feel and understand this statement more.
Kindness is rather paradoxical, pure kindness mean you do not think too much, you have the "intention" to help, and u did. What has wisdom got to this with kindness?
Kindness depends on the giver or the recipient? If only intention counts, then it depends on the giver?
What if the recipient do not accept your kindness? Who are we to determine what is better? Are there cases that recipients do not want our help but we still need to help? You bet! Think of depression cases. Would they want your "kindness"? To them it is "pity" or you are treating them like beggars. But we carry on as far as we could nonetheless.
But if it's only/ more about the giver, note the pitfall of self-righteousness. (自命清高）
If it all about the recipients, how do we draw the line besides cases of "depression"
The biggest parodox is: Just continue doing it nonetheless.
Better to be self-righteous and get a slap one day than missed a chance that is possible for u to make a difference.
Better to be over-zealous and realize you are unhappy of helping, because you care too much of other people business that are unimportant than you woke out one day and saw your own pathetic self.
Of course, kindness with strings attached is not kindness.
So, I am so kind to him, why is his ungrateful? The word "ungrateful" do not appear in the dictionary of "kindness"
If we to fatten ourselves, that is not kindness too. It's a transaction. It does not have to be a monetary transaction, it can be an emotional transaction. For example, after "helping" someone, you feel "happy" because u feel "damn power"?
Did u see the parodox? Or there is none to begin with?