Wednesday, March 20, 2019

Random thoughts: Midlife crisis part 2

This post is kind of triggered by B post and also Rolf about success.

While many congratulate him for able to resign, I think he is venturing out with something in a mind and is not exactly on FIRE.

I have been contemplating and researching on a possible plan where I strike it out on my own. I dropped hints to my wife and told her my intentions. While she has her reservations, she supported me if I do take the plunge. I really appreciate it.

We have convsersations, and she offer many other options and advices. I told her my plan is not so.much to escape and make a living and I agreed that there are much safer and less risky options (financially), rather I would like to build something.

Jack ma mention in one of his speeches that we should take risks when we are in the 30s, when we are in the 40s, do what we are good at.

I have calculatEd that I might have to eat grass for 2 years,and if things eventually dun work out, I would have wipe out my savings. I intend to use my investment portfolio for my undertaking.

SMOL poked we want out because we are losing the office politics. While I might not be winning, I hardly think surviving well will be a problem for me, especially after I make some plans to move aside.

It is really the crisis of seeing purpose in the work we do. I am rather delusioned with a lot of things the way they are.

I know I need to learn on the go and be willing to accept possible consequences from failures of my ventures.

However, there is still a part of teaching that I really enjoyed. The interaction with pupils, the bonds and relationships. Of course they are pupils I couldn't reach or couldn't stand me, but I overall, it is really fun.

At 40, I really appreciate every game of sport I still do with kids. I couldn't find adults to play with me, or maybe I didn't lIke playing with adults?

At the back of my mind, I have this thought, this could well be my last time I do this. I did some crazy things that I thought I would not do yeaes ago. Such as accepting invivtation to whatsapp groups and basketball game etc.

My conversation with them have also shifted from giving advices to bordering of talking nonsense.

Make me wondered one early morning, should I just shut up (Not just verbally but also cognitively) and just take my good pay (by my own standard) and just work with the kids and forget about the meaningfulness of othee part of my work.

From my investing style, I know I am a rather risk adverse investor anyway.

15 comments:

  1. Hi SI

    We may be sharing the same struggle.

    I think one consolation we can give to ourselves is just give it a shot of opportunity. The worst that can happen is it doesn't work out and we try to go back to where things were before. It's hard for the mental to take things like that but it's the only decent shot in life we can present to ourselves.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha B,
      Thanks for the advice. My Plan A of partnership didnt work out. Kena rejected. So Plan b might Noy be able to happen so soon. I will enjoy my last year with my kids ba.. then see how it goes...

      Delete
  2. I thought can start home tuition Ctr first?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. CW, I live with my inlaws not very Conv... hahah

      Delete
  3. Sillyinvestor,

    You alone would know whether its quit to escape or quit to achieve ;)

    If a person is doing well in corporate job, getting lots of accolades and recognition, with regular promotions, and is meeting esteem and self-actualisations needs, why would he quit?

    Its not always about the money.

    Some leave to seek something they desire MORE ;)

    Its crystal to everyone you are not happy for a long time...


    You are not alone. Many Chinese educated and bo-tak-chek seniors before us have taken the plunge as they've gotten tired of playing other people's game - where the rules don't favour them...


    Well, its about time. 40. Hmm... Hope its not your mid-life crisis moment?

    At least you not having affairs as a distraction!


    Tip: Don't seek permission.

    But if you find yourself giving lots of excuses or go round asking for "advice", its red flag that your "building something" is just say say only...


    Good luck!

    If you want a cheerleader, don't look for me.

    But if you need someone to poke holes in your business plans to reveal blindspots you may have missed... Well, you know who to ask!


    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi Smol,

    I am glad u replied. Wondering where the hell are u. Indeed, anotuer blindspot, I knew its not about money, or at least not mainly about money, its the more.

    Not really seeking permission, but more of aupport from wife as I thk my decsiion will inpact her too. So must be far to her.

    Great. Your consultation is one drink only hor. Dub anyhow up the rate OK. No worries, I need no cheerleader.

    I have things I dun like but also things I like, and u are right too, the red flag is I haven't really Make up my mind and I do have some fears.

    Blogging about it does make it clearer. When we meet, will tell u about my plans... not sure which one is better

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hi SI,

    The same question u have, has always been bothering me. So u are not alone! Not in a position to give u advice, but can share my own experience and thoughts.

    I do love my job bcos of the so many wonderful pple I had made friends within the co and also outside, by traveling locally/abroad. I hate the office politics, although I dealt with it pretty well. No more big promotions, or increment, as it is more or less saturation for me, and even if there is promotion, I had decline. Income is still gd (for my standard) with perks. Above all, my work is also my springboard for what I want most – save souls and tell pple the truth.

    Nonetheless, no matter how good my job seems to be, I always have the desire to do my own. I love creating something I call my own, which can have greater impact.

    It’s always a dilemma.

    Then there is the reality where bills, kids growing up, etc... and most important of all, the opportunity cost of lots of time n effort put in when you start my own n not enuff time for nurturing kids.

    So maybe you can list down all the things that are impt to u…. Vs time factor! Then u can decide which one to do first and which one later. But for me, the most important is to pray and hear the VOICE!


    ReplyDelete
  6. Hi Rolf-,

    Thanks for the advice. Ya... kind of like the advice of a list.

    In my head the list is not short...

    With the cost of time.

    Maybe should add the best outcome and worst outcome too.

    Hahaha... but in the end, its where the heart and balls go

    ReplyDelete
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