I wrote about asking a staff, then under my charge did she feel any excitement taking care of her pupils, or a sense of responsibility, and i ask myself the same questions as a father, son, etc. I guess nothing much has changed, the sense of responsibility for those under my care has hardly changed. But if you talk about excitment about seeing my family, I would say things are better at home as well as work, compared to 5 years ago. I talked about spending more time with my parents in 2015, both have passed on. I believed I did my share of caregiving to the best of my ability, but what I discovered in highsight, is my work is my saunctuary for my caregiving, and caregiving my escape and me-time from my other committments. The time spent alone watching the phone or blogging, is care for myself.
I am more at peace. I dun have a lot of questions. More of reminders to keep to the rules set and refine them periodically. Compared to 5 years ago, my radar went beyond singapore shores to HK and US exchanges. Although both Exchanges have very few counters under radar or watchlist, both are fast expanding. I also no longer dream of early retirement, i simply hope to have some passive income, to the best of my ability. Looking back, I am horrible at money, have I not climb the coporate leader and my human capital appreciate over time, i might be in financial ruins. So, I also no longer habours any dreams to be a beacon of lights or "idol" to others in investment faternality. I shall keep to myself, and write to crystalise my thoughts and feel an article might be interesting. Google ad money is a joke la.
I read about the inner demons at work, and questions about pedagogy 5 years ago. I am happy that most demons are gone with me stepping down from my management roles. Although there are new demons, they are more manageable. I also have ready answers for a lot of questions, I guess I am no longer confused. The answers I have might not be good or model answers, at least there is something for me to fall back on. I am mindful that given I am more wilful in my work intentions, I might be out of job one day. I have been thinking about various options if I step out to the private work. I am rather confident of my craft and survivability, but lifestyle might need to downgrade if I do private work.
Closer and closer to the dark side. Less and less compassion. Hardly felt the urge to help someone anymore. The worst Health Really in a mess, before CCA stopped due to Covid, I still tried to exercise as a coach, by warming up with the pupils, and play the sport together with the pupils. Now, I eat more than I should, exercise less than I could. Not a Nice Picture, Bro Rolf,if you are reading this, you keep up your good health and hobby ok... 不要像我这样堕落