Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Random thoughts: FEAR is the problem

My last 2-3 weeks is a roller coaster ride.

I takes a while, but I think I am on the way up now, until I hit the next "ohh..."

The problem is not the piled up work of 12 to do things when I stared at my desktops which did not include teaching when stepped into the workplace. And by the way, 2-3 of them are overdued

The problem is not my pupils are not performing.

The problem is not about possible lack of  money.

The problem is also not fatigue.

The Real problem is fear of tackling them.

I need to go through the downs and sleepless nights and chest tightness, to be compressed enough to get that long lost "CCB" moments back.

"F** the shits" just face it and do it. Worries causing sleepless nights? Used the nights to clear the work then.

Firefighting and trouble shooting again? Just face it. Do it. 

Need trade-offs? Just trade it. Someone might be unhappy due to some action or decisions on my part? If I can get past myself, just do it. 

Want a Starbucks coffee as a reward for a long hard day? F* the calories and the money lost in compounding,
Drink be happy, and get on with work. 

The shortest way past a problem is going through it.


  1. Fear and indecisiveness are impedance to our progress. To act, you got to lock the fear up, make the decisions and keep your focus on the goals, one at a time.

    1. Anon,

      Thanks. MY sutra:

      Keep moving. Focus on what need to be done, focus on people. Go. The day will end

  2. I think is stress. My solution is FF to be able to retire early as i want.

    1. Cory,

      I seriously do not think FF is the solution...

      FF CANNOT remove fear. It might reduce no. Of problems to tackle, but if the mind is in flux, one problem is one too many

  3. Hi SI,

    Agree. Sometimes after tackling the problem, I'll realise it's not as bad as it looks. Usually I put a digital 'post it' note in my hp and desktop, and I'll build frustration to a point that I cannot help but tackle the problem. I think in a way, it sounds like what you're doing too.

    Worry is interest paid on trouble before it comes true.

    1. Hmm..

      Yours is a conscious effort to build up te fustration. I must admits I have gone soft with many good years.

      Arh.. Nice at the same time feeling nostalgic ... I feel like this maybe 2 times ..? This Is my third?

      Mindfulness like u say, helps.

      After going all over places, it comes back.

  4. Replies
    1. Thanks Yeh.

      No worries, as I said, I am on my way up. Just like the markets. LOL

  5. Sillyinvestor,

    I've got a blog post dedication for you ;)

    You asked for it remember? No hugging; just a gentle kick.

    Namaste (I salute the holiness in you)

    1. SMOL,

      I want to defend whinning and moaning.

      1The truth is everyone does it, some people whin everywhere, anytime.

      2Some whined to loved ones.

      3Some whined online (Me, because I don't want people I know to know I am whinning )

      4Some people whinned to themselves.

      if doing 4 takes you 2 weeks to get over it and start working, and 2/3 makes you feel better after a day. Anytime I choose 3. 3 because readers can choose not to read, but if I do not listen to someone, he/ she might be hurt?

      Of course, true heroes never whinned, there are also men of steel out there, while I am not one of them and I don't strive to be one of them or pretend to be

    2. Sillyinvestor,


      Whatever makes you happy ;)

      I guess you have to be in the company of someone who whines and moans more than you to see your own reflection :)

    3. SMOL,

      I must say I am quite offended by the comment. But I must say you are entitled to your comment, and I prefer offensive frank comments nonetheless.

      Here is my frank reply.

      I am more concerned about who I am as defined by what I do than reflections from others' lenses.

      I hope your lenses are not self-righteous because I feel so.

      As you say, whatever. I am sure u no longer care how I view u or the world view u anymore. But has your world view stop spinning ?

    4. Sillyinvestor,

      I apologize for creating offense.

      I thought we were in the bantering mode...

  6. SMOL,

    No need for apologies, but it is accepted. My apologies too if my return blow is too offensive.

    I invited for "kicks", so I thought we were in fighting ring mode.

    I am expecting a return blow from u, or a 无声胜有声move.

    Your this move caught me off guard again.

    I meant it when I say I prefer kicks than hugs fr u.

    I also meant it when I say I feel u have been seeing the world with your style of zen. Just brutally blunt here. Have u seen from other angles. Perhaps it is unnecessary since it might have been many angles and going there and comjng back again. But.. Well.

    Recent years, are there drastic changes in your life? Our views will changes.

    Just my 2 cents worth. I hope we can continue our banter and fight at the same time.

    Personally, I am not make of paper and can be offended. No problem. Hope u can take "offense" too

    1. Sillyinvestor,

      I don't banter with people who sits on the fence or bends to the wind like the willow ;)

      Your response is "robust" because you have conviction in your viewpoint. That I respect; even if we disagree.

      It's through this "clash of ideas" that I improve myself. Steel gets stronger by getting bashed by hammer and anvil.

      Thank you for your frankness :)

    2. SMOL,

      Disagreeing is OK. In the non-cyber world, I am always the non-conformist in work. I believe in teachers than methods, I believe planning is overrated, etc.

      Sometime I wonder I must have good karma past life to get to where I am in my workplace. LOL

      As for my wife, she never agrees with me... LOL

  7. Hi SI and SMOL,

    I always think that we can choose to talk about the weather and how nice it can be, or go deep down and explore the issues that really matters to us, and risk everything that had been build up before. Better to tear down a house of cards together, and build a strong foundation of a better relationship, then to carry on talking about frivolous things.

    Well done folks :)

    1. LP,

      =) Indeed, as relationship gets deeper, its a delusion to take that everything will continue to be smooth sailing and 风花雪月

  8. This comment has been removed by the author.

  9. Not all problems are the same. Maybe unchartered territory of stepping up gives you the insecure feeling even though you know you can do it if you focus on it. Is part of higher learning ?

    1. COry,

      I do think it i s higher learning. I also do think I have it too comfortable these years. This is my third cycle of goat, suddenly I am bombarded by life stories (unfortunate)of my friends.

      Most of them stand tall.

      Sickness, sickness and more sickness, old age, even 21 months babies.

      The 4 truths of buddism struck me real hard

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