Friday, April 10, 2015

Random thoughts: Feeling lonely

Feeling really lonely surrounded by my loved ones...

My son laughing heartily with my niece, and also quarreling loudly.

My poor wife furiously trying to finish her school work on a Friday night. 

Smiling at my parents when I cooked earlier, trying to be really upbeat. 

Looking at the whatsapp group of my close friends talking about things which I didn't even comprehend.

I am talking to myself. 

My mum needs chemo, 6 months first, before radiotherapy. Initial good news of successful surgery and needing only radiotherapy is short lived.

My work is piling up due to reduced time at work juggling work and care-giving.

My wife asked me about my mum, didn't ask about me. 

I am pissed with my irresponsible brother.

Worried about my worn-up sister and wife. 

Stressed over work.

Wondering how the final bill of hospitalization will look like. 

I know. It is my mum feeling the pain from treatment.

I know. I am aching about the big bill when I shouldn't be. 

I want to let you know. Think carefully about CPF medishield life. It is a wonderful plan by government to take care of its people.

I am not in the mood to do snake oil selling, but be very sure u want no private care, and when the time comes, you actually have a say in what care u want. 

I am talking to the wrong audience. Those who read my blog, no matter how young or old, are financially  savy enough. 

Just don't miss the pound for the penny. Because the poor, with no option will just go for government B2 and C ward. 

U want B2 too. I think C suffice for me too. What happen if the choice is not yours to make.

I read in forum, "I rather die than give money to those blood suckers" whether those suckers are machines or doctors, screw the comment, when karma catches up and you are ill, you don't fucking have choice to choose to die as you please.

The chinese has a saying: 盖棺定论。before the nail locks our body in a coffin, we do not know what life holds. 

Thank you for reading.

Silly investor feeling lonely.


  1. last time when i was admitted in hospital. i also stay in C class. well, admitted about 3-4weeks due to my poor health condition in 2008. luckily i was covered under medishield life, so total bill 7k then i pay about 4k++

    u dun need to worry much.

    if no money, can raise money through social media.

    this malaysian baby girl able to raise RM1.21M to come to singapore for liver transplant.

    life is always full of hope and beautiful la.

    1. Thanks Yeh,

      To be brutally honest here. I am not worried about not being able to pay, but losing all my savings.


    2. Hi mike. Not heartless but honest.
      Well. Many times I donated to those sick and poor people. I will also ask myself, why i so stupid work so hard then save so hard.
      How about I just do part time then spend all my saving.
      If one day I very sick or unlucky things happened on family. Then I will also raise fund through social media or public la.

      But that is not me. I still prefer to spend my own money. It is a blessing that I am still healthy enough to work and help people.

      If one day, i lost all my saving for my illness or family. I will start everything again.

    3. Yeh,

      Every month, about 2 % of my monthly income will go automatically to charity ... I am fine with that buy losing all my savings ... Actually is a bit scary although not crippling ...

    4. Well. Actually u also not much to lose. Lol. Kidding la.

      Well. My mum also lose all her saving. So what? Now she so old then still work. Of course I did gave her money.

      I offered her half of her losing money cheated. She didn want.

      keep her busy also good. Now we 3 children also no much time for her.

      u still young. No money. Start everything again!

    5. Why would she want your money? One thing I know about "good" parents is they do not want to burden their children.

      Ya. I cannot really agree with young but yes, I can still rebound ... Lol.

      Wait for bear and bull

    6. Silly investor.
      Others than I have more money than u.
      I think I more lonely than u.
      My dad passed away and I still very 自责for not spending more time n money on Him. If time can turn back. I willing to give up all my money to exchange for his life.

      Me now 四面楚歌in office now.
      I feel so depressed. Can't talk can't complain in office. Very soon. I will be siao lang.

    7. How come school setting so corrupt?? The 2 schools I have been to are ok lei...

      Sigh... You mention about promotion due to the new school. Actually, how long have u been in this school? How long since your last promotion?

      Promotion can be due to yor school, your school and previous school or neither schools.

      If it's a good 7 -8 years since your last promotion, your school didn't help. If u are here last than 2 years and your last promotion is 3-4 years ago, your previous school play a part in your promotion

  2. I have been treated in B1 before and find it okay. BTW, my medical entitlement on co-payment basis is A; but I opt for B1. Company paid less. I also paid less.

    I am aware of long-term follow up costs for some illness. All these costs will add up even on co-payment basis. I also understand that it is not easy to down-grade from A in the future.

    1. Hi CW,

      U are already talking about private care and the choice to be prudent by going 1 notch lower.

      What happen if u have nothing?

      If one is still healthy and young, there are riders or private H & s that can cover the co-payment that u talk about.

  3. Hi Sillyinvestor,

    "Sometimes in life, the person who tries to keep everyone happy, turns out being the most lonely person."

    Think many go through such phases once in a while, including me. Keep yourself busy, worry less and things will turn out as it is.

    Meanwhile, cheer up, mate.

    1. Thanks HW,

      The blog provide me
      An outlet to talk to others like u. And recharge myself.

      I will go on definitely. I know how to outlast most people but I grumbles etc.

  4. Sillyinvestor,

    Take care and be strong..Life is full of ups and downs.. keep going

    1. Thanks Richard,

      Not moving is a delusion, as time moves. I hope mind moves

  5. Hope that your wife reads this and you won't be lonely anymore.

    1. I dun think so, although she knows I have a blog and is a active blogger, she never ask about the blog.

  6. There are many things in life we can't control. We just have to do our best in whatever we can do.

    Take care and be strong bro.

    1. thanks for the encouragement.

      I will make do...

  7. Sillyinvestor,

    First a kick to get you out of the "I'm the centre of the universe" mode:

    "Worried about my worn-up sister and wife." - Did you ask about them?

    OK now I give you a hug and pat on the back.

    1. Naa... SMOL,

      While I am no bleeding heart, I am far from being center of universe. I have seen "Suns" though.

      I also thank you for your kicking. I am waiting for a heart to heart chat with u and Yeh. Of course yeh is bleeding heart type, and u are tony jar jar type.

      Of course, ask? I don't ask, I see. I talk, about their work, their schedule, guage their energy level, listen to their unhappiness and complaints.

      I also want to bitch about my work, people I meet, u know. But I am aware I am part of the equation of things now, so I bitch here. People online are not part of this equation with no risk of "chain reaction"

      I am well aware that I am hardly alone in handling these, but everyone has their way of managing it. I choose this anonymous online way, that is efficient and time saving. LOL.

      I prefer kicks from u la, hugs and pat from u feel different.

    2. Sillyinvestor,

      If you need someone to listen, just go to my blogger profile and you can see my email there.

      There are some things I think you have the wisdom to know it's better not to share in public.

    3. SMOL,

      Thanks for the offer. I will take it up when there is the need. I hold u to the offer.

      Actually, I am not quite sure what sensitive info. Is already out. Hmm...

  8. Hi SI,

    Practice mindfulness, it helps. When cooking just cook. When doing just do. Leave the thinking and the meanings to others. When others didn't fulfill expectations, note it and don't think further.

    It's all an experience, good or bad. Don't just take the good experiences and reject the bad ones. Sometimes it's those bad ones that forms the solutions to tmr's problems and those good ones that forms the seed of the next problems.

    1. LP,

      This incident exposed my lack of Zen, but today, I went and have a good talk with her. Think she is coping fine mentally.

      I think I just need some space and time. Space and time like today, makes me feel so much better

  9. You are not as lonely as you thought you are. Look at your online circle of friends. All these bloggers here.. they give support to one another. i Understand the feeling of you cant rant to your close one because your are the center pillar holding your family to. thats why you can always blog about it and complain here. we will all be listening ear and you wil feel better too...

  10. Hi SI,

    My mother in law also had cancer many years ago and she is fine now. I was also victim of hospital beds many years ago with losing blood internally but not knowing where by the doctor!

    Love is all around then from families n Frds. Both me and my MIL is fine now! More healthy and more happy..

    I m sure u will pull thru this low period ... Add oil Add oil... I m the oily man !

    1. Thank you Rolf,

      I can not add oil .... Very fat. I stressed, I eatinh more tha. Usual liao.

      Yes. I will get pass this. One way or another

  11. Hi SI

    Stay strong my friend. It's in tough times when you grow tougher and get to know who your true friends are.

    1. Hi RT,

      All my friends are my true friends. Lol. I just feeling a bit low.

      I do hope I get tougher

  12. Hi SI
    With the internet n smart phones,.getting loneliness filled thru support of fellow bloggers is not difficult.
    Btw suggest quickily get urself n.whole family insured with highest shield plan possible.
    Personally, when my son was recently hospitalised for pneumonia, i din have to worry abt the ward class or bill plan. N he can stay one or two extra day which he did.
    I realised the impirtance of having bot the insurance plans.

    1. Hi Paul,

      My son is already sufficiently insured. His HFM is so serious at 2 that he was hospitalized. I didn't need to pay a single cent ...

      My wife cannot be Insured for the deductibles or co-payment as she is diabetics ...

      Ya... I recovers quite quickly ... Must be the support shown...

      I will try to tone down the begging of sympathies if able. Lol...

      U take care too, and have fun blocking building....

      I am unpacking my portfolio

  13. Do you need to increase your credit score?
    Do you intend to upgrade your school grade?
    Do you want to hack your cheating spouse Email, whatsapp, Facebook, instagram or any social network?
    Do you need any information concerning any database.
    Do you need to retrieve deleted files?
    Do you need to clear your criminal records or DMV?
    Do you want to remove any site or link from any blog?
    you should contact this hacker, he is reliable and good at the hack jobs..
    contact : cybergoldenhacker at gmail dot com