I am not sure why I was so "kan chong" when school restarted.
I can't seem to keep my mind intact, with my mind drifting to multiple issues concurrently and then feeling very anxious about the amount of things I have on my hand. It is rather scary.
I did 2 mental exercises and I no longer feel chest tightness. It could also well be because this term is actually not as hectic, but nonetheless, I think these 2 methods work.
Every morning, before I start my day, I would write down a list of things I need to complete and those that I want to complete.
Then I will write a personal note to myself documenting how I feel about the day, it could be I am feeling jealous of my colleague who got a teacher's day gift from my favorite pupil, but I got nothing from her (LOL). I can laugh it off now, but I was feeling rather lousy before I pen down my thoughts.
It is also this process of penning down my personal thoughts before I start the day that I wrote that I have problem keeping my mind focus when I seem to need handle multiple issues at the same time.
So, thereafter, I did 2 things.
I allocate work to my staff (LOL)
I allocate time for specific duties.
But there are also many issues that will prop up the mind as and when it comes, like a teaching idea, or there might be sudden issues that need my attention immediately. It is still happening, but I no longer have serious anxiety attack.
When something props up in my mind. I ask if it is related to what I am doing, and if it goes with the flow, I will stop my work and do it. I realized trying to compartmentalizing something for another time is worse, and usually becomes less productivity. For example, although I have planned to do administrative work for project A in the afternoon, but after my lesson, I thought of doing a follow up with another teaching idea, it is better to follow through and carried out what I want to do than leave that idea later and finish the project. The mind could not focus anyway.
However, there are also time when I remembered I need to handle A, B, and C. as I am doing D. What I usually do is insist on finishing C first. Now, if I need to handle A, I will handle A. It is more relaxing to be moving on than trying to leave A for later.
However, if it just an emotional attack of feeling kanchong. I will say this to myself:
1) I -- Zai, just finish this first.
2) If B is cannot be worked because I am doing A, than B is not meant to be, there is no need to ＂强求＂
3) If I want to cover 4 items in one lesson, I will need to consider the trade-offs, if I can cover only 2, so be it. 3 and 4 are not meant to be even if I am super "kanchong". "Kanchongness" will affect my 1 and 2 too.
4) What is the worst that can happen? Most probably feeling lousy... Now, I have my morning therapy, it is one thing down.