Saturday, October 10, 2015

Random thoughts: My parents...

I remembered doing a bucket list years ago, more for fun and reflecting on the things I want to do. 

My sister told my mum her conditions and ask if she has anything she wants to do. 

She said she only has 2 wishes.

One, see all her 3 children through university which is already fulfilled.

Two, to die while sleeping.

So simple, isn't it? Hardly a list if u ask me. But the second wish, we will have to leave it to God/ Buddha or Karma... 

I was having a conversation with my sis as I drove her to see her client, she told me that although mum has this condition, it is good that there is still time for us to be with her, and prepare for eventuality. She told my sis she wants a Buddhist send off and my dad chips in that he wants a Taoist send off. 

I couldn't join them for a November vacation as school is still on. I suggested an earlier staycation at Sentosa and my mum ask to see the "free" water fountain musicial, (one of the few childhood mermory of family getaway) I told her it is no longer there and "free" and has become a more elaborated show with pyrotechnics and special effects, but we need a ticket. We will go see that nonetheless. My mum ask what time, I told her we will go relax at sentosa and stay a night there, my dad exclaim hotel rate there is 400 a night. I told Him not to worry, but he said it's expensive. My mum told him off and said "your son wanted a night with us, stop lamenting about money", just 6 months ago, it would be my mum saying it is a waste of money. Yes, my dad is the more outgoing guy. 

Recently, I start to think a lot about my mum than in my entire life. I am
Closer to dad all these while, and find my mum irksome, and "without substance", It remained me on the prose"背影”by 朱自清. Yes, my mum can't really hold a conversation with me even until now, but she is surprising a "woman of steel" in the way she coped with her illness. 

I look up to my father in his way he get on his work to send us through our education, no matter how tough it is, now my mum earned my respect on how to cope with cancer, and how even though the cells might have spread, is still positive about life. 

Life is a struggle. The struggle can be beautiful or a pain. It's the man/ woman behind the struggle that makes a hero or a coward.

My parents are my heroes, no matter how "uneducated" they might be. They only had primary 2 education. 

5 comments:

  1. i am saddened by your mum health condition.
    make me think of my deceased father. well, i am so regret for not spending more time with him.

    till now, i still miss him very much. if time can turn back, i do not mind to give up all my wealth to exchange for his life.

    same as you, my papa and mama also my heroes , always and forever.

    take care,SI.

    i will pray for your mum

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    Replies
    1. Hi yeh,

      Indeed, I appreciate the chance to make some choices rather to have reality thrusted at us.

      Actually while the doc has asked us to be mentally prepared, he also mentioned the lungs are a big organ that might continue to function for years even with some cancer cells

      Delete
  2. Take care SI!

    Although I do not know your exact situation, I will still like to encourage you to keep ur hope high!

    While my dad had passed on from cancer, my mum is still doing good 6 years after her encounter with end-stage cancer. so please continue to keep faith and pray:)

    I have no idea how she manage to overcome that, but I think that it's her sheer willpower to see me grow up and the multitudes of support she received from our family that helps. Do keep her spirit high yea:)

    My dad on the other hand, became reclusive and sombre despite our encouragements; which was rather unlike his character. He passed on shortly after:(

    Nevertheless, I totally agree with you that our parents are our hero for they have given us everything they can to the best of their ability !

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