Friday, November 20, 2015

Random thoughts: Choice

Life is full Of Choices.
Making choices at every day, and if we include mental choices, we make choices almost every minute.

I look around me, and saw many people struggling with life always putting an effort to put on a smile. 

I saw their lack of confidence of themselves as a bedrock of their empathy towards others.

I thought to myself, many of these people are deprived of "choices"

I offer to drive my TA to school so that he can be in school earlier and we can prepare for the school function earlier. 

When we meet for breakfast, he was trying to withdraw some money from The ATM and couldn't. I asked him what happened, he told me the ATM only dispense $100 notes. 

How long ago when I dun even have $10 in my pockets. Now, although I am a "poor man" in the F bloggersphere, I do not really have a cash flow problem.

And how I had taken things for granted. 

We have a choice and be glad we dun have a choice.

We have a choice to enjoy every minute now as it last. 

We dun have a choice as we might all
Fall sick, lose our job or die. 

Our way of life is a choice.

There is no better choice. 

I am very unhappy at my work recently. I decide to forget my choices. I do have them. 

Transfer after 3 years. Step down after 3 years. Go private... Etc.

I told myself to forget my choices now. I ask myself to accept that it is not something I like, but I will do what I could that I otherwise would not be able to if I am not in the current position. I also told myself to accept that my best is simply not enough but nonetheless I will continue to slog on. 

My choice is to value add as my position allowed. 

No choice is a happier choice for me. 

Bad things happen. No choice. Good things happen, and we think we have a choice?

The choice is there in the mind, and the mind is as flickering as the cloud

Pic Source: duoban


  1. Peace be with you, my blogging friend.

    The holidays are coming. Enjoy this downtime.

    1. Thanks SMOL,

      When I first saw your message, I thought/ expect a flying sidekick...

      Wow, tender side.

      Because u also ask "people" not to lament and be more "active"

      Thanks! Blogging friend.

      Falling sick again. When holiday is nearz always like that

  2. Hi SI,

    All this will pass...Be strong, my friend. Sometimes, we're thrown obstacles so that we can grow bigger than them.

    1. Hi LP,

      Oh no. I seriously didn't meant this post to be a whiny or letting off steam post.

      Guess it seem "depressing"?

      The toughest part is behind me, in terms of hectic schedule etc.

      What really got me writing is really what I see ... I had a colleague with one misfortune after another ( parents and in laws unwell, then dad pass away, then in law conditions worsen, then she need to go surgery) she still smile at me, but I can feel "沧桑” in her smile as the tired eyes betray her.

      I have been hearing about "sick/ injured" people in my school very frequently, and I usually ask and chat ... Cancers, Parkinson's, a bad fall that required work to be stopped,

      Choice is no longer that important other than that in the mind to accept? Isn't it?

      Sickness ...

      My mum is with my sis and her sis at Taiwan the last week, I saw radiant smile in the photigraphs taken. I think it has been decades she went out with her sister. I know despite all the flaws she has little expectations FROM Ms Life. Small indulugences gave her so much joy.

      Lively colleague (personally do not know her) bond to the bed and asking when she will recover when the truth is she is just waiting to die and she knows it. She is getting awake to meet friends.

      Actually, now when something happens, I get less irritated. I quarrel with wife, in law unhappy with maid, conflict with colleagues, etc

      The duration of "unhappiness" is now shorter and intensity lower.


      Expectations of others and even myself has dropped 3-4 notches

      Maybe SMOL will have something to say about aim low and achieve low.

      More at peace than usual actually. But at peace (equilibrium point) is lower than in the past where I think I can have the world on my palm.

      Lower point of peace does not mean I stop striving higher. But that I do go higher and fall lower is no longer that important

      Better acceptance of myself. Whether u call it denial is up to others ...

      My lens my life

    2. Hi SI,

      I know what you mean. Being contented and at peace doesn't mean no ambition and not striving for the best. It's hard to explain. Perhaps it's about striving for more but at peace with the results? I'm not sure, because it doesn't quite capture what it feels like. Also doesn't matter, we don't have to understand. Sometimes we just have to feel.

      As for myself, I've never worked so hard in my life before. Getting my well deserved break now. Trying not to start the next cycle of work even though parents are asking for the kids to start. Wah, really so kiasu ah? lol

    3. I have seen my fair share of super kiasu parents as well as super no chap parents.
      Our time should generate either satisfaction or money.

      I think your hectic schedule is generating both and u will find the right balance ..,

  3. hi Mike
    i really think that you worried too much and think too much.

    just like me, 过一天,算一天。

    aiya, my portfolio down 14%(70k) i also not worried much and not feel unhappy.

    i everyday have to take so much medicine, i also just accept and try to be happy.

    i always think that, 只要还活着就好了. maybe to me, i didn ask for much. then God give me what, i just accept.

    if give me good things. i all regard as bonus.

    anyway, holiday coming:) be happy.

    1. Yeh,

      I am not exactly worried. Just 感悟./ or thinking aloud ...

      Enjoy your holiday too

    2. yes mike
      too many unhappy things in life, so we must be happy.

  4. Yes temperament,

    I understand, it's the application of it that is easier said than done. Nonetheless, that is the reason why I never seek "divine" intervention like fengshui or fortune telling etc.

    My wife was a bit pissed with my stubbornness ...

    I explained: I totally believe in the art of fengshui or fortune telling. But I told her 2 things

    1) future is dynamic and not static, it might be good now and then bad later, and vice versa, what good is piecemeal info

    2) fortune telling might tell me what "misfortune" might befall, but never how I react to them. Just like what you say about mental images

    She told me can reduce impact through chanting ... I told her I dun believe in it, so no point chanting. But will not stop her from doing so. I do notice her temper better after all the chanting