Saturday, June 25, 2016

Random thoughts: Lessons learnt during the holidays

Holiday is a more relaxed time. More time to talk "male chicken" and most importantly more time to observe people, reflect on myself and hear carefully what other said.

1) Procrasination 

My close friend has some financial difficulties. I didn't ask the details as I am
Not prepared for another loan for him. There is some delay in the confirmation of his contract. So I asked if he is willing to stay with current terms for another 3 -6 months. This is the second delay already.

I told him if he find a better alternative, just go. In the meantime, someone approached me for tuition again. I immediately recommended him. So I ask him to give my friend a call. It's another one of those lucrative assignment where the rate is not a problem (of course you don't exhort people, but I think 50-60 an hour will not be issue.) I gave him the contact and ask him to call. He said Monday he is busy. This is the second referral that didn't go anywhere. My referrals are all blue-chip customers if u know what I mean. 

I thought to myself, I would have given her a call, try to manage another date instead of just letting it go, especially if I am in need of money. 

I know my friend quite well, he is still the same, we are buddies during university day. He is kind of perfectionist and live with ideals and principles. I am already a man-whore  after 10 years into working. I dun betray my core beliefs but anything else, u ask me to jump, I jump. When my P ask me to change the way we do mid-autumn, I don't ask why, I say I need more budget. LOL.  

2) There is no careless mistake in mathematics.

Huh? Why? I have been careless before. Apparently, both the HOD and LH think the same, the carelessness is due to lack of practice, lack of sensitivity to numbers or lack of familiarity to way questions are phrased.

It is rather thought provoking and very true. Maybe it is a bit extreme, there could be genius 1 careless mistake. But I would have agree with them if more than 1 careless mistake is made

3) Personally, personality profiling is bullshit.

As part of training, we were again doing these personality profile, with the purpose of understanding ourselves and others.

I have a lot of respect for the speaker. She is entertaining in presentation, enlightening and sobering  when she shared her clients' cases/ stories. But, true to be told, I am profiled to be lacking in "firmness" aka assertiveness in my socializing in one test and "critical" in another test. *bullshit. I think I am both critical and lax in different circumstances and I know myself better than a test can tell me. I reflect and listen to all feedbacks my friends, staff give me. I have 2 mirrors. Of course, I am not saying I have not blind spots, but using a questionaire, if u have not awareness of yourself in the first place, how accurate your answers can be? *bullshit. Ok I know I am cyclical here. 

But, there is one thing I agree with the presenter, it is that we all show our true colors only under distress/ stress. 

I have personally seen how normal/ kind people turn into energy sapping, self-pity people who cannot pull themselves out when fate deal a bad set of cards. So I paid particular attentions of how we can pull ourselves out of this mental state, and hope I can help my wife's auntie. Well, she said we should have "gratitude, action, forgiveness, etc"

Sigh... Those who have these, don't fall into "hard times", these are qualities that
Keep one Saint and are defense mechanism. 

But if someone already cracked under stress, how to give them "benevolence, forgiveness, positivity? Whatever. So, I think when u are having a good time, always practice gratitude, forgiveness etc. it's not for others, but also yourself when your turn come, you forgive yourself more readily and you move on. The last thing we want is to think we can hold the world in our hands when we are at the top of our game. I think I reached the top of my game already, I think I will still give kindness priority over asertiveness. Both my P and VP have told me I am too "lax" in my management. I kind of agree, but I told my VP during work review when asked about my weakness of "style" of leadership, "every style has it strengths and weaknesses, I am my style because I believe in it and I follow it" I am acutely aware that some people would have preferred a more structured and organized style. While I will continue to refine and improve, I dun think I will ever become someone else.

4) Goals review

Health-- no running at all, eating is in a big mess. I am also taking the lift. 

Social-- Meeting up with friends is nice, and the best part is, I am listening more attentive to their stories and felt I am indeed fortunate.

Family -- spending more quality time with my dad, but still using my phone hehehe

Human capital -- Reading a bit more of materials related to my work, but have not found a "ah huh" book yet. Sighs... 

Vision is quite there.

I found the passion in my work, and my demons are in check, perhaps until the next crisis. 

5) Retiremment and recharging 

I spent a good 1 week doing nothing. And I quite enjoy it. My P ask us what recharges us and share. My honest answers are:
1) doing nothing 
2) reading 
3) blogging 

I only mentioned 2) for obvious reasons. During the holiday, I got the all the time in the world to blog, but quite no "灵感” ideas. The only post I think I enjoyed is the write up on Silverlake axis. But towards the end of holiday, when I start going back school for the last week, working, meeting teachers, I got my mojo back and I keep blogging.

So, I think I will never stop teaching as long as my health permits. But I think I will want to step down as HOD and concentrate on children/ pupils once "high pay" is no longer important. LOL


  1. i learnt do nothing is the best thing in the world.

  2. Hi SI

    i find that do nothing is the best time where i will be more clear on what's going on my surroundings and things. Maybe that is something the mind is thinking.

    1. Hi Yeh and STI,

      We all like to do nothing because we have been busy doing everything and doing everything at the shortest possible time.

      Actually, during the period of doing nothing, I have 患得患失feeling, and it is not actually the best time of my holiday.

      I of course appreciate the rest and I look forward to seeing my pupils, experince both the good and bad, satisfaction, disappointment.

      I am perhaps a work-whore

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