Can we? Really?
If we can't see ourselves clearly. We can't.
Recently, my wife and MIL have been trying very hard to console someone close to them to snap out of her depression and her negativity.
Usually the person get on my MIL's nerves by being too negative and grouchy. While I feel that her predicaments are largely due to her own earlier actions, I cannot quite agree with some of the comments made by my wife and MiL.
When we are low in our life, some of us wallow in sorrow for a while and stand up. But there are others who cannot wake up.
I dun agree that she is depressed and sucidal, but I do think she is sick mentally and she need help.
I tried cajoling her to do chanting at temple and borrow books for her to read. No use. I told my MIL to advise her to see a counsellor whom I know. I think she is mentally sicked.
While I believed my MIL have good intentions, her words are neither hardly kind enough for one to feel love or harsh enough for one to wake up. And they complain loudly why is she like that. Having being through a rough period, I am not sure if myself, or my MIL or my wife can be any better if they are in her shoes? I should not take so long to snap out of it, I think.
Easy to say, difficult to put oneself in other shoes.
When I was 6 or 7, I remembered my brother having fever in the middle of the night. All the clinics were closed and my mum brought me and my brother to walk all the way to balestiar to see a 24 hour parkway hospital.
When told consultation fees after mid-night is $60, my mum left without allowing my bro to seek treatments and scolded him harshly.
I felt that my mum dun love us enough and was very stingy with money.
It was only very recently, when I walk past the building again, and recalled this incident again ( dun ask me why).
I suddenly understand. She might not have $60 with her then. She must be very frustrated with the situation and not knowing how to manage it, ended up scolding my brother.
If I have no money for my son to see a doctor, I think I will feel super miserable.
It took me 30 years to put myself in her shoes.
Who said empathy is easy