Random thoughts: I didn't get what I want... ...

 It might not be a bad thing.

Strange. 

I bought 2 poles (those for clothes drying), to be used as stands for a DIY volleyball net. 

However, my son and I break 2 of these stands/ poles in recent weeks as our spike hit the string too hard.

When I went to those "mama" neighborhood shops to get replacement again, I could not find those extendable poles anymore. So, I settle for the bathroom shower curtain poles that cost twice as much. 

I didn't really wanted to wait and shop around anymore as I was really busy and we have already arranged to play volleyball 2 days later.

When I set up the net, I realized the shower poles are made of solid metals and despite us "accidently" hitting the net strongly a few times again, it did not break. 

A good thing happen.

... ...

In my investing journey, I have wanted to FIRE at age 40-45.

I didn't get what I wanted. 

I wanted to have early retirement.

I realized the numbers didn't add up.

I hope to have a retirement that does not become a burden to others. So far, this last wish might still be possible, because if I am healthy, I hope to work as long as I can, as long as I can still contributed in my work.

However, Investing changed my perspectives on many things. I get exposed to ideas of behaviorism and biases, and applying the rules of investing are like training my temperaments, learning how to cope with fear and greed. 

If you ask me, if at the end of the day, if my net net gains in investing is a net zero, I would still say it is a wonderful journey.

... ...

In my work, I have wanted to climb the coporate ladder.

When I took a back seat, I have to cope with some inner demons and ego issues.

There were quite a few occasions I felt "useless" and blame myself for throwing in the towel. 

Now, I am having hell of a time. Every morning, I played volleyball, or rather coach it to pupils with passion and hunger to win. While I am mindful that my secondary school way of training is outdated, with hard drills and a lot of yelling, I sometimes cannot help myself. But the players still come for these "optional" and "extra" trainings, and sometimes when I got ready at 6.40 a.m. Some of them are already waiting for me.

Many chastise me for being "glory" or "Results" hungry, I think they missed the point, and it is sad coming from a PE middle manager. It is not about being the champion, it is the hunger for improvement and success that perks me up, and I look forward to those sessions everyday. 

I also have plenty of time free up to make lesson interesting for my pupils, even those not in my school

I arrange for a role-playings during lessons, and pupils actually "cook" in class. One of my pupil had to miss my lesson to go see the dental, and he shouted:" Again?" That he wanted so much to stay in my class to carry out the activities I planned really made my day. 

I also create escape room games for my pupils and organized a nation-wide competition just for Foundation Stream pupils, which I believed is the first such national competition for "weak" pupils. Last year, a few teachers text me after the event, and thanks me for organizing such a event for this group of pupils, who do not have much self-confidence. Although there were some glitches last year, and this year, less schools participated, I am still happy that I now work to fulfill my own vision of what education should be. 

......

Sorry that this post sound like self-trumpeting in the end. Perhaps it is those self-encouraging posts.