Thursday, December 18, 2014

Random thoughts: paradigm shift of the thought of a second child

My wife and I have been talking about a second child for a long time.

It is as it is, only talk.

We always have this worry, that worry. She worry about the care giving, managing her work, baby, and her family time. I worry hell lot about the finance resources or strain it will put on me.

However, this year, the conversation get more frequent and detailed, and I finally get the feeling that she is now really more prepared mentally and emotionally.  

I have to secretly admits I am rather half- hearted in this pursuit of a second child. I know it will set me back in what I hope to acheive. 

Whe she starts telling me her period of "fertility", I know she is really dead serious. So I decide that I really need to get serious too.

I have been half hearted in keeping a healthy diet, especially in this year end holiday. In order not to "short-change" my second child in anyway, I decided to watch my mouth again (what I eat). I also remember when we were trying for the first, we bought quite expensive tonic in the thousands to boast our health and chances. I told her I will go get it again. She said :" maybe just try first" I said our first child is really healthy except inheriting my sensitivitive airway and nose. It might be a coincidence but I do not want to shortchange my future child. 

I mange to find the old prescription of tonics. I went to another more reputable TCM shop and realised in the 5 years, inflation applied to TCM too. LOL

Anyway, the bill is significantly higher than what I expect. I hesitated. The sale person told me I can consider other cheaper options, but I am not sure if the effect will be the same?

I walk around the mall in another round and decided that my future child is worth it.

It now dawned on me having money to pay for all these, is a blessing.

Screw the 30 years plan. Live the day as it it Ba. I am happy thou, I went through the state of flux. At least now, I have my wife aware of my status, she ask to go to the food court during our precious 2 alone time. I myself has also better curb the temptation for indulgences. 

And if after all these positive exercise, there is no progress, so be it. My family is worth it.  Remind me of the romance of  three kingdoms game from Koei. I always play the underdog at the worst screnario using the highest difficulty. I enjoy winning and losing and fighting back to win. When I am assured of winning, I stopped playing. I am living my life like a game, what to ask for


  1. I think you made the right choice.
    Maybe your second child will bring you and your family much more joy and I am sure you will work around it to achieve your financial goals too.

    Some money cannot save de

    From a fellow Singapore who share your concerns.

    1. Hi fellow Singaporean,

      Indeed, some money cannot be saved. Some money is perhaps not ours to begin with.

      Weird, I catch the hobit with my wife today and the dwarf king dying words to BB is :"if only there are more like you, who choose family above gold, it would make the world a much better place" LoL

      Seem to be talking to me

  2. Hi SI,

    All the best!

    Plans are only plans. When your circumstances change, so should your plans! I'm never of the idea that reality should follow plans. If the plans do not include this new reality, then the plans should be change instead.

    Indeed, screw the 30 yrs plan!

    1. Plan let us know if we are heading the right direction

      But guess we do not need a flawless plan.

      Plan, replan. As long as we are not deluding ourselves, replan as many times as we like ..

      This whole holiday, the whole "season" of discomfort is worth it. Every single pain of it.

      I think I am aware of many bad habits that I had, which j should kick.

      There should be honest communication when necessary even if upleasanT

  3. Hi SI,

    Congratulation on your choice. In life, thing changes and so do plans. I wish you all the best.

    1. Thank you on your well wishes.

      Glad that in the end, I wanted a second child too. If I didn't want it ... Wonder how things go...

      LOL think too much again. Cheers

  4. Hi SI,

    My wife and I also deliberated for some time to have a second child. We know financially, it will set us back for quite a while.

    After my second son is born, finance is the least of my worries. My routine became packed and tiring.

    But it seems life is so more enriched with two children instead of one. Everyday i look forward to going home and play with my sons.

    1. Hi SRSI,

      Totally with u about the packed and tiring routine, been there. Scary, if u ask me. Fuse are in short supply from both ends the.

      How old are your 2 kids now?

      Family life. I am sure my dad didn't know how it will turn out for him.

      Now, it is. I remembered those days where quarrels were aplenty. Many over money. Some things the effect of money is unknown

    2. My two boys are 2 years old and 11 months respectively. I have a short fuse too, but I try to be more zen about things these days.

      Communication is very important between hubby and wife. My wife and I talked about money all the time. LOL

    3. Oh they are close to each other, I mean age. You quite power! LOL

      My son is already 5, the gap is big. Hopefully we don't have to wait too long.

      Wow, at least that is one common topic. Talking about investment would be interesting as compared to talking about expenses. Although both are important.

  5. Hi Sillyinvestor

    I think you've made a good heart to heart talk with your wife regarding some of the concerns and I can see a lot of preparation have been put into place so I think you are aware of what you can do versus what you cannot do.

    All the best though and pls.let us know the good news sometime soon :)

    1. Yup yup.

      A hard look also at myself. My wife too. Think she understand me better now too.

      That day she asked me, when we talk about money matters, she retorts, save so much money for what!!

      LOL. I am stunned. I say for freedom, u then work because u like it. She went silent.

      Think it was never on her mind. I never share how too. The only thing about finance I shared beside some counters were my "aspiration" of earning kopi money from
      Blogging LOL

  6. Sillyinvestor,

    "I am happy thou"

    Now we are talking!

    Have fun!

    1. Thanks SMOL,

      Without the flux of yesterday, where the joy of today?

      Cheers to happiness thou. Everyone has it, In abundance abundance.

      Blind happiness can be toxic thou. I stop here. Our gap is glaring but that's fine too

  7. SI : Nice! As long as it's a mutual decision, the more the merrier! ;-)

    1. No no! Richard. Stop at 2! If there is second one

      One is fine too

  8. Hi Sillyinvestor,

    Congrats, I think your efforts will be worthwhile and fruitful. On a sidenote, maybe that's why children stuff are getting more expensive to milk the parents... Parents will stinge on themselves and spend the best for children!

    1. Jes! Totally agreed.

      The milk formula, inflated about 30% since 5 years ago, daylight robbery.

      And you have the enrichments... I not going for those. My wife just stopped me from enrolling me son to
      Kumon. Said it killed passion.

      Glad to agree!! Although teaching him ourselves can be quite .....

  9. Replies
    1. Happy is not to be cling to...

      Let it be.

      Ying and yang keep flowing ... Flux - harmony - happy - unhappy


      Sorry, ignore me

  10. Semb Corp Industries crossed 4.40 today, hope its a really recovery
    cheers ^^

  11. Hi SI,

    That's love! Thanks for sharing.(:

    1. Hi MPG,

      Thanks for dropping by, it's always nice to see reader comjng forward. But no luck with no. 2 so far LOl