Now, I am feeling much better and would rate job satisfaction back to the long term average of 7 out of 10.So what have changed?
Nothing, the demands of the job are the same, maybe perhaps even more. What really changed is my mindset. With the change of my mindset, I did the following:
- Create more time by working at nights after my family go to bed and also on weekends when I visited my parents.
- Became more forgiving of myself. I told myself it's ok to be the weakest manager in school, just keep improving and stick to my core values.
- Always asking how can I add value to the system
- Delegate more tasks to my able colleagues
- Happy that I can live by my own values at my department level (since I am the boss LOL)
I no longer fear decision making or that my colleagues are better than me Perhaps my skin got thicker. Many times last year, when I would groan about doing certain work, I would now see it as an opportunity to add value in the system. I am also more hands on and start to manage and indeed feel like I am part of the team running the school.
I not longer have inner demons screaming at me at whatever I do. I said things as it is, never considering how the opposite party would have an opinion at me. I am very mindful to be kind in my speech but I no longer doubt myself and bothered about how others would think little of me. In short, the self-inferior complex is gone. I am well aware that I might not be as good as others, but "its OK" I have also done several "wrong things" this year, things I would definitely do differently if I have the chance. However, I forgive myself and moved on.
"What if I still do not produced results" this year? I still have this doubt and inner demon. But at least it is not screaming at me.
I just did a bo liao lesson with my P4 class. I felt "young" again, spending hours preparing and uploading pupils' work and showcasing their work. I used to do that, I shall share with you 1-2 work