Random thoughts: Managing Anxiety

2 weeks is too short to be called a trend, but I thought keeping anxiety at bay for 2 weeks is no mean feat.

1) Mindset - Fatigue for anxiety
I realized while there are certain areas in my job that I do not like, what really stressed me is not able to meet deadlines and rushing like a mad dog.

For these 2 weeks, I spent more nights handling work matters than I usually would. I no longer insisted that I have proper rest (Wondered why I do that at the first place) at night. I slept slightly later at night (1 hour or more) but cleared more work and prepared my lessons better which gave me joy. That joy countered the guilt of not delivering and reduced stress too.

I no longer think working long hours is "pie mia" (tough life), in fact I am happy that I hold a stable job and have no worry over income even in the long term. Some of my pupils apparently slept later than me, talk about having it tough.

2) Mental exercises
Every morning, I tried to wish everyone well in my mind. It wasn't really easy as I feel that it is not just a verbal/mental exercise but I need to feel the sincerity when I do that. I realize I do that better after I get past the grouchy and tiring initial 30 minutes of the morning, and when I just take a walk and observe the people around me. The school auntie that opens the school gate at 5.30 a.m. (I know because I was in school that early before), the people at the hawker center when I go for breakfast, the bus manager etc. Then I realized "hey, my life is not that bad, just maybe fatigue is the only negative; I draw a good pay, is doing something meaningful in my work. Then I felt I come really wish people good health and wisdom better, having blissful families etc.

I also did mindfulness exercises. One by counting and taking note of breathing, and following the instructions of a follow blogger on breathing tips. The other is when I am eating. I wanted to feel the food at the front of my mouth, being chewed unless thrice before going to the left and right and then repeating the process. I know the food is really thoroughly chewed when I do that. I am losing this mindfulness as the work start flowing in, I noticed I will break quite often and think about this project and that. But I will keep reminding myself.

3) Physical exercises
Beside a jog once a week, I go to the school's chin up bar almost daily, sometime twice a week. In just 2 weeks, it went from once to 5 chin ups. I am not particular about the number, sometimes it dropped back to 2, but I just like the exertion of some muscle strength. Feeling the stretch in the muscle is also mindfulness exercise.

I also hit the stairs and avoid the lift as much as I could, even when carrying pupils' work to level 4.

4) Creating systems
Thanks to Kyith, after chatting with him over at his blog, I realized I am a very disorganized person.
I brought more baskets for storage of different documents and purposes so that I can retrieve that easily. I separate to-do-list post it board with "important information". After making a list of to do list, I would ask myself which 2 are most valuing adding? I will also bring back one "post it" slip home to finish and crush by the end of the night.

I delegate more responsibilities to my staff. Think they need to reduce anxiety soon. I felt that they are really adding value to the whole system now. However I realized that trust is still lacking between me and them. I have been more accepting of my own flaws and I accept that I am a B or C grade leader, in fact, F grade made no difference because because it is about progress. I just want to do my best in earnest and have no regrets. I ready to "move on" when the younger ones are ready.

5) Dietary exercises
I am really losing this one. But I will fight back. I cut down on fried food, drink decaf coffee, eat cereals in the morning and avoid dipping into soya sauce. I cut down also on sweet food. I slim down in 2 weeks, my jeans suddenly felt loose and my belt and be buckled further by 1 notch. I tried my old jeans and it now fit.

Hope my sharing is beneficial to others who might have anxiety issues.